


Take my heart and hide it well

by EchoBard



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Angst, Antisemitism, Cute Elio, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Humor, Homophobic Language, M/M, New York, Protective Oliver, Sickfic, goopy-mushy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-08-09 00:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16439660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoBard/pseuds/EchoBard
Summary: Elio is having a meltdown over something silly. At first, Oliver is convinced that it is caused by exhaustion; however, he discovers something that suggests a much more sinister reason behind Elio's behaviour.





	1. Pete, the fairy tale and the note

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All, So this is the first story I had the courage to publish (sweating bullets right now!). Honestly, I have no idea how it is; I read it so many times that I already hate it. I have never ever shown my stories to anyone before, so I would be very grateful for your comments (should I even keep writing this?!) and advice, and hopefully, I can improve my style. English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes or if something sounds weird. I do hope that you will enjoy it :)
> 
> Ok, starting with some ridiculously sweet, cheesy fluff; Elio is a tiny sad potato.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver sighed as he finally collapsed into his office chair. His schedule had been crazy in the last couple of weeks, filled with exam preparation, paper grading, consultations and faculty meetings of all sorts. Although the exams were over last week, he agreed to give a series of advanced level lectures before at the end of the term. Today was the last day, thank God. He only had to survive one week until winter break, and then he could concentrate on his favourite thing in the entire world, his Elio.

He missed spending quality time with him more than anything. Being the considerate little sweetheart, Elio understood perfectly that Oliver was busy, and did not make any demand on his time. In the evenings, when Oliver was still buried under his grading, Elio kept the fresh coffee and biscuits coming, also took care of most of the grocery shopping, housework and cooking (God bless Mafalda and her Elio-proof recipes!).

At some particularly late nights, sometimes half asleep, the boy would wander into the study, dragging his blanket after him, and sat on Oliver’s lap, demanding that he would come to bed and rest. Besides taking care of him, Elio also managed to finish the term with straight A-s, at Juilliard, none of the less. He was truly amazing, and Oliver planned to make up for the last weeks and spoil his little goose rotten. He was going through various options in his head when he heard an enthusiastic knock on his office door.

“Come in.” He said, straightening up in his chair. His assistant, Chloe danced into the office with her usual wide smile in place. Oliver had no idea where the woman got her energy from, but God bless her for it because she made his life infinitely easier.

“Hello Prof, congratulations for making through the crunch time alive. Here is your schedule for next week; only one week until Sweet Christmas!” Chloe said providing him with a colour coded timetable which looked much friendlier than the previous weeks. “Also, Elio called you thirty minutes ago, while you were lecturing.”

Only a handful of Oliver’s colleges knew about his relationship with Elio; Chloe was one of them. She simply adored the boy. When they first met, she pulled him into a bone-crushing, motherly hug, and every time Elio turned up in Oliver’s office she would not let him go until he ate a full plate of cookies with some warm milk. Yes, warm milk because too much tea and coffee were not good for his stomach and he was already too thin. Then she would go on lecturing Oliver that how he should fatten up Elio. She treated him like one of her sons (she had four!) and Oliver loved her for it.

“He sounded distraught, and I think you should call him back as soon as possible. I will leave you to it.” Chloe said and exited the room, but Oliver bearly registered that as he was already dialling their home phone number. He was already worried. The phone was ringing for almost a minute, and Oliver was about to hung up when finally Elio picked up. For his alarm, he could only hear sniffles and sobs from the other end of the line.

 

“Elio?! What happened? Are you OK?!” He asked, but for a second he still could not hear anything apart from the crying. “Baby please, talk to me!” Finally, Elio started to speak.

 

“He is dead,” He said between two hiccups. “I killed him, but I didn’t want to.”

 

Oliver felt his heart rate skyrocketing. “Elio, what are you talking about? Who died?”

 

“Pete.”

 

“Pete?”

 

“Pete.”

Oliver was drawing a blank. He did a quick mental check of all their friends and family, but he was sure that they did not have anyone called Pete among them– this was a statistical miracle by the way.

 

“Elio, baby, who are you talking about? You need to calm down and explain what happened!” Oliver was getting desperate. He heard little sniffles then Elio started to speak again.

 

“H-He looks all weird...I think I drowned him, but I was so careful and checked him every day, and played music to him, but he is now all wilted.” Said the boy with a fresh stream of sobs erupting from him.

 

Oliver was utterly confused “ _What the actual fu...OH!_ ” His overworked brain slowly started to relay the relevant information: Pete, Elio’s funny looking little house plant. Oliver remembered the sunny Saturday morning at the market, when he and Elio were working their way through a long shopping list, and how the boy abruptly stopped in front of a stand which was selling various house plants. Apparently, it was a very successful business as it had only one plant left, a rather pathetic looking little succulent; that was Pete. For Elio, it was love at first sight, and he purchased the little-crooked thing immediately. He also conducted an extremely detailed interview with the seller about the care of the plant, and finally, satisfied with the level of knowledge he obtained, he happily bounced away. Pete lived on the top of Elio’s piano. Oliver sometimes caught Elio talking to the little plant, telling him about the music he was playing or reciting exam material to him. Pete received a Juilliard education. The wet sniffling sounds from the phone took Oliver out of his reminiscing. Damage control was needed. He couldn’t stand seeing Elio upset.

 

“Elio, try to calm down, baby, I am heading home right now OK?” He said as he started to collect his things. “I will be there as soon as I can.”

 

They said their goodbyes and Oliver left his office, saying goodbye to Chloe on the way out. He was halfway through the university campus when he finally started chuckling. Dear Lord. Sometimes Elio was just far too adorable for this world. Oliver loved this oversensitive, crybaby side of him, especially because only he and maybe Elio’s parents were the only people who knew about it. For the rest of the world, his lover remained the beautiful somewhat naughty and smartass French boy with the accompanying allure and dreamy eyes, which was also all true.

His amazement over Elio’s complexity grew together with his love for him every day. The pure and sensual young man: his Ganymede, the mouthy and coltish brat, the honour student, the musical genius, the caring partner, the insatiable lover. Endless layers of emotions and contradictions, all moulded into the radiant soul of Elio’s and placed into the stunning body, worthy of holding such a treasure. He was beautiful inside and out. And right now he was crying his lovely eyes out over a potted plant. Oliver was not fooled though. He knew well by now that when Elio behaved like this, it usually meant he was exhausted, sick or upset, sometimes did not even realise it, and focused his discomfort into a random subject.

By the time he finished his musings, Oliver was already opening the front door of their flat. After shedding his coat and shoes, he went in search for Elio; his own personal little, dark cloud. He found him in the living room, curled up in a ball under his favourite blanket (knitted by Mafalda). Oliver set down and gently started to stroke him.

 

“Elio, come on, look at me, baby.”

 

“I don’t want to.” came the muffled answer, followed by little sniffles.

 

“Why?”

 

“I am ashamed of myself...I am a terrible person; I didn’t take care of my pet.” Elio started on a sad voice. “I am one of those people who pick up a little bunny rabbit for Easter, and after the holidays they take them to the shelter; or people who put baby kittens into cardboard boxes and leave them in alleyways. I should have taken much better care of Pete.”

 

Oliver glanced at the coffee table where Elio placed the plant. Well, Pete was fucked alright. He could hear poor Elio sobbing again. He pulled the blanket away and brushed the dark curls out of Elio’s face. His precious boy looked so worn out and sad, but still, he was incredibly beautiful; eyelashes clumped together, fat teardrops rolling down on his flushed cheeks. Oliver thought that his suspicion was correct, this couldn’t possibly be only about Pete.

 

“Oh baby, come here. It is OK, just let it all out.” Oliver said and pulled his lover into his arms. Elio seemed inconsolable as he continued crying, probably releasing a huge amount of exhaustion and stress with all those large teardrops.

 

“The lady at the market said that suppulents survive literally everything and I still murdered Pete.” He managed to say between sobs.

 

“...’ ‘....’ ‘.....They are called _succulents_ , baby” Oliver said gently, trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

 

“I just said that.”

 

“Of course goose.” Oliver said smiling and buried his nose into the soft curls. He kept drawing circles on Elio’s back and giving him comforting kisses, and thankfully the boy started to calm down.

 

“You are bit warm, Elio; are you feeling sick?”

 

“My head hurts.” Elio answered snuggling deeper into Oliver’s arms.

 

“No wonder, after so much crying. How about a nap?” Oliver asked. ‘I will make dinner while you are asleep. You will feel better when you wake up."

 

“Only if you stay with me until I fell asleep.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Oliver picked Elio up from the sofa, carried him into the bedroom and deposited him on their bed. Elio climbed under the cover and snuggled into the pillows. Oliver brought him some aspirin and water, and after Elio took the medicine, he laid beside him and hugged him close. Elio snuggled in, put an arm around Oliver’s neck and started playing with his hair.

 

“I am sorry,” Elio said very quietly. “I am being a pain.”

 

“Don’t be sorry, love; you are just tired. And you are not being a pain; you are adorable.” Oliver said and kissed the boy’s forehead.

 

“Do you think we can revive Pete somehow?”

 

“ _More like recycle him for compost_.” Oliver thought, but he didn’t want to risk another meltdown. “We can give it a try, baby”.

 

Elio sighed contently. “Will you tell me a story, please?” He asked.

 

“Sure, what would you like to hear? Do you want me to read something?”

 

“No, just a story ...I don’t know, something nice.”

 

“Hmmm, okay.” Oliver was thinking for a couple of seconds then he started: “Once upon a time,”

 

Elio giggled.

 

“Shhh! you should concentrate on falling asleep.”

 

“Sorry.” Elio said and giggled again, like a little boy.

 

“So,” Oliver started again.”Once upon a time, there was a little prince. The little prince lived in a beautiful castle near the sea. The castle was stuffed full of the most interesting books and art of the world, there was always music and laughter inside, and the garden was full of magical fruits that tasted like happiness and sunshine.”

 

“Like magic peach?” Elio chimed in again.

 

“Yes, like magic peach.” Oliver answered patiently.

 

“Did the magic peach taste like happiness and sunshine?” Elio asked on a childlike, curious voice and looked up at Oliver with large, innocent eyes.

 

Oliver’s mouth twitched, but he managed to maintain his serious face. “ _Little shit_.” He thought.

 

“No, it tasted much better, but that part comes later in the story, so be patient, Elio.”

 

“Okay.” Elio said and put his head back on Oliver’s shoulder.

 

“So, the little prince was loved and spoiled by everyone, and he spent his days playing his piano, reading his beautiful books and playing with his friends. Despite his carefree life, however, the little prince was lonely, and he often cried alone at his hiding spot, wishing he could find someone to share his heart with” Elio rubbed his head against his shoulder and Oliver started to stroke his back comfortingly as continued the story:

“One day, a little forest fairy who lived nearby heard the little prince crying, and hearing him out, she decided to help him. The fairy took the little prince to a beautiful lake and said: ‘ _This is an enchanted lake. At the bottom of the lake, in the semi-darkness lays a man. That man lived many years, admired and loved by many people, but still, no one could reach his heart, and as a result, his skin turned to bronze, and he is trapped in time, motionless, watching the world through the grey-blue curtain of the water. If you have courage, then dive into the lake, and find that man, little prince._ ’ said the fairy. ‘ _If you are the one destined to reach his heart, you will be able to bring him to the surface, and he will turn back into a human again. But be aware, little prince: the soul of that man is not as pure as yours, and he can be swayed by the darkness of the mortal world. Therefore, when you reach the surface, and he takes the first look at you, you must recite the spell “cor cordium” and reach into his chest and seize half of his heart. Take his heart, and hide it well, so even if he will be misled by the promise of false treasures and become lost, he will always find his way back to you._ ’ The little prince although was scared, he understood that it was better to act than to bear the consequences of cowardice and dived into the water. He swam deep down to the bottom of the lake, and indeed he found a bronze statue, lying in the soft mud. The little prince swam close and ran his fingers through the hard lips and face, admiring the fine features. He then grabbed the slightly outstretched hand, and easily pulled the bronze man towards the surface. He noticed that the closer they got to the sunlight the more animated the statue become and finally when they broke the surface, he found himself in the arms of the man. They looked into each other’s eyes at the first time and fell in love at first sight. The little prince remembered the fairy’s warning. He kissed the man and whispered “ _cor cordium_ ” against his lips. A warm light lit between the two, the kind of light that exists between twilight and nightfall, blurring the boundaries of the physical world. For a second their bodies melted into one. Then the little prince reached out and seized half of the man’s heart, and hid it so no one could ever find it.”

 

“Where?” Elio asked in a sleepy voice. “Where did the little prince hide the heart?”

 

Oliver gently lifted Elio off of his shoulder and turned to his side so he could be face to face with him. He looked into the beautiful green eyes, reached for his hands.

 

“Only the little prince knows where he hid the heart” He answered. “What do you think, my love?” Elio smiled, and slowly brought Oliver’s hand close to his own chest and placed his palm above his heart. Oliver could feel the gentle beats, the most beautiful rhythm in the universe.

 

“Well, it is well hidden then.” Oliver said and moved closer to Elio, who looked very sleepy now. He hugged him close and kissed his brow. “Sleep now, little prince.”

 

When Elio finally fell asleep, Oliver carefully got up from the bed and made sure that the boy was nicely tucked in then quietly exited the bedroom. He went to the living room and gathered the industrial amount of paper tissues produced by Elio, and headed to the kitchen. He would need to cook something light and nutritious for his boy, that would be easy for his exhausted body to digest. Maybe some chicken soup or rice pudding if he wants something sweet.

Oliver opened the bin to throw away the trash, finding it already half full with bloody tissues. " _Oh shit"_. Elio was really out of it, and Oliver started to feel extremely guilty. The boy did not get into this state in one day, that was sure. Oliver knew that he should have paid attention to him no matter how busy he was. He bent down to take the bag out of the bin when his eyes fell on something unusual. He stared at it for a second while his brain processed the words he was seeing, then in utter astonishment and horror, he pulled the piece of paper out of the trash.

What he was seeing was a fragment of a larger, torn sheet with cut out newspaper letters stuck on it. It read: “ **ROT IN HELL LITTLE FAGGOT** ”.


	2. Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Elio is asleep, Oliver is stress-cooking and thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, First of all, I would like to thank you for all the comments and kudos; your support is amazing <3  
> This chapter will give some details about Oliver's background, some of the events between the boys' first summer and their reunion, and their present life together. There is still a lot to improve regarding my writing, but I hope you will enjoy the chapter!

Oliver was standing near the stove, carefully steering the fresh chicken soup, while he adjusted the heat under the vegetable curry. Rice pudding was cooling near the slightly ajar window, an apple pie, a pumpkin pie, and a home-made bread were baking in the oven.

Oliver was a stress cooker. Concentrating on chopping and carefully measuring ingredients allowed his mind to simply check out. His other method was running, but that was not an option now. He did not want to leave Elio alone when he was sick, and there was the other thing...the other thing. Suddenly he heard a sizzling sound and looking down he saw spilt chicken soup burning onto the stove. “Fuck” he swore and reached for a kitchen towel. This is why cooking worked for him; if he let his mind wander even just for a second, there was surely a wake-up call very soon.

He cleaned up the mess and turned off the stove. He glanced at his watch; it was 7 pm. He had been anxiety food producing for hours, and as much as he wanted to carry on, he used all the available ingredients in the apartment. Soon he would have to wake up Elio to eat dinner and take some more medicine, but for now, he would start the washing-up. He made sure that he used every available utensil so he would have a lot to wash-up later, hoping that his mind would be too occupied to overthink, but of course, his thoughts immediately started to wander.

Oliver searched the bin earlier and found other fragments of the letter, but they were ripped into such small pieces that he couldn’t make out the content. But to be honest that one piece he found was enough to make him want to throw up or repeatedly punch something. He stared at the letters in disbelief for almost a minute. The violent, hateful words seemed incredibly out of place in their apartment, in their little safe haven. It was like finding a large rat in your freshly made bed.

They were a same-sex couple, and they both knew that there would be difficult times, but it still hit Oliver in the solar plexus to experience so much hatred directed on them. Oliver just witnessed the effect it made on Elio a couple of hours ago, and it was heartbreaking. What he really wanted to know, that how Elio received the letter. He was not surprised that the boy did not say anything about it. Oliver knew exactly why, and he also knew the reason why Elio used Pete’s untimely departure as an excuse for his meltdown.

The truth was that similar situations occurred before. One day, a couple of months ago Oliver came home from work and found Elio in utter despair, crying his eyes out, telling how incapable and useless he was...because he broke a mug. Later that day Elio’s friend called their apartment, asking him whether Elio was alright. That was how Oliver learnt that the boys witnessed a robbery that morning. And there was another evening when Oliver found Elio in the bathroom, crying again, blood gushing out of his nose, and repeating “ _I am sorry_ ” and “ _I am so_ _stupid_ ”. The subject of his meltdown was a bill that he accidentally tore while opening its envelope, the real cause of it, as Oliver learnt later, was an antisemitic slur from one of his classmates, after seeing Elio’s star of David necklace.

Both times Elio wound up having a headache and temperature. He needed cuddles, sweet words, and each time he asked for a ...well, a bedtime story to help him fall asleep. The day after the events, when he felt better, they discussed what happened and how to deal with the problems. Oliver also suggested that maybe Elio could see a therapist, someone who would teach him how to handle situations like these.

It wasn’t that Elio was mentally unstable, he just found it hard to talk about traumatic events and dealt with them this way, which was infinitely more stressful than simply talk it out. He was not capable of standing in front of Oliver and saying “ _Oliver, I am hurting because '_ xy' _happened, please comfort me_ ”. And Oliver knew this, because partly, he caused this behaviour two years ago with a careless phone call, and then with an even more careless and downright cruel visit that summer when after his spring wedding brought his new wife to the Perlman Villa.

Recalling that time now, he had no idea what he was thinking, and there was no anything in his life that he felt more ashamed of than those two events. His marriage was a disaster from day one. It was his last attempt to please his family, who already disapproved his carrier choice, and basically everything about him. However, they adored Katie who came from a similarly rich and pretentious background and behaved accordingly. But things did not go well, and Oliver was not sure how long he could take it. Deep down he was sure that he brought Katie to the villa to compare his two parallel lives, make them collide and see what would survive the impact. It was incredibly selfish of him, and he felt that it was impossible to atone for the pain he caused Elio.

Katie hated the place, too many bugs and mosquitoes, too far from the city, the house was not modern enough, the furniture was old, books were laying everywhere, and there was that weird, quiet and gloomy boy sitting near the piano without ever playing a note. “ _He is like a ghost haunting the villa_ ”; Katie would say. She found the whole place creepy, and she couldn’t wait to leave.

One night during their stay, Oliver found himself walking to his rock by the sea, to think, to make something of the mess he made. The situation was unbearable, and it had to end in a way or another. He almost reached the beach when he heard it: soft, sorrowful cries. They were mostly muted by the sound of crashing waves by the shore, but he could still hear them, hear him, Elio. _His_ Elio. He left the path in a trance-like state and followed the sounds into the woods. Then he saw him, his dearest, sitting in the grass, hugging his legs, trying to disappear into himself and crying from the depth of his soul.

Oliver wanted to reach out, to hold him, but he knew that he had lost the right to do it. So instead, he quietly sat down behind a large tree, only a couple of steps from Elio, who had no knowledge of his presence, and listened to him crying because of the pain that Oliver caused him. He wondered how many times Elio did this, holding back his words and feelings so he can make it through the day without breaking down, just to be crushed by his emotions at night.

The next morning, it was evident to everyone at the breakfast table that Elio had cried not long before. In fact, he looked like that several times throughout that week, but he always came up with something: he couldn’t sleep, he stepped on a bee, he read something sad; anything but the real reason. It was normal in that situation; sad, but normal. But he had no reason to hide the real cause of his distress anymore. It seemed that this weird habit stuck with him like some kind of false defence mechanism. Oliver wondered if Elio had little conversations in his head, to convince himself.

_“No, Oliver I am not crying because I just witnessed an armed robbery and I am very scared; I am crying because I broke that mug; I am so clumsy.”_

_“No, Oliver I am not crying because I was told that I should die in a gas chamber together with my family; I am crying because I tore that bill; it will be a pain to replace it; I am so stupid.”_

_“No Maman, I am not crying because Oliver is sleeping in the same bed with his wife that he made love to me last summer; I just stepped on a bee in the garden; it is nothing, I was just careless.”_

Well, only an idiot could not see the pattern. Oliver wished more than anything to help Elio getting over this weird condition. It horrified him that he played a role in him developing it.

That night at the villa, while he was listening to Elio’s crying, Oliver made his choice; If Elio would have him back, he would never leave him again, and he would dedicate his life to make him happy and heal his heart. He remembered watching the boy from his spot that night. After Elio stopped crying, he walked to the shore, took off his clothes and walked into the water naked. The moon was high, leaving its long reflection on the sea. Oliver could make out the boy’s silhouette standing in the dark-silvery water, then diving in and splashing around. He heard laughter. Elio was laughing with joy as he was playing in the water, enjoying the gentle waves. _“What a beautiful soul”_ Oliver remembered thinking. Strong and honest; honest in his sorrow and in his joy, understanding that he could feel both without killing anything inside of him. He was still there, his Elio from last summer, with new layers of emotions he shone brighter than ever, and Oliver was more in love with him than ever before.

What followed that night were months worth of total mess, mayhem and carnage resulted in the annulment of his marriage and the complete cut off from his parents’ side. But also in a tired and shy Elio turning up on his doorstep with all his possession, never intending to leave ever again. They survived, their love survived, but one of the scars that were left behind was Elio’s inability to handle well anything that might disturb their happiness. It caused him extreme level stress and anxiety and tried to go into complete denial. Oliver hoped that the boy would get over it soon. The wounds were still fresh; they only lived together for a year after all.

After he finished washing up, Oliver decided to call Elio’s boss to let him know that he would not come in tomorrow. Better to sort it out before Elio wakes up and object. He simply loved his part-time job.

He was a barista in a nice little coffee shop one block down from their home. They were taking a walk on a sunny afternoon when Elio suddenly jumped and ran to the shop window, practically sticking to the glass. There was a vacancy notice, and after considering it for a whole half second, Elio rushed towards the door. By the time Oliver finished reading the paper, Elio was already talking to the owner. In the next minutes, Oliver witnessed as Elio shamelessly took advantage of the mere mortals of this world who were completely powerless against his natural French/Italian-boosted charm turned up to 110%. The job required an experienced barista. Precious Elio could press the buttons on the espresso machine normally but struggled on difficult mornings. He got the job after a five minutes conversation. The owner did not stand a chance.

Unsurprisingly, the traffic of the shop vastly increased since Elio started to work there, serving Italian style coffee with an Italian accent and French style coffee with a French accent, making even the straightest man blush. During his shifts, the shop was buzzing, and more than once Oliver caught blushing girls copying the week’s shift schedule into their notebooks, drawing little hearts near Elio’s name. The owner and the other staff members also loved Elio, so when Oliver called in to let them now that he was sick, they insisted that he would take at least three days off until he completely recovered. They also suggested that Oliver should come down to the shop and pick up some of their special chamomile and lavender tea with honey and Elio’s favourite lemon cake. Oliver promised that he would pop by the next day.

At first, Oliver hated the idea of Elio working part-time. He tried to convince him that he should just focus on his studies, and rely on Oliver but Elio was adamant. “ _I am not going to be your kept woman Monsieur!_ ” Elio threw at him with an exaggerated French accent and ran away laughing until Oliver caught him and threw him on the bed. That was a good night with lots of French things involved.

The truth was that Elio did not need to work because Oliver was wealthy. Oliver was very wealthy, not that he ever bragged about it or ever expected to become a rich man, but it happened anyway. He was not the only black sheep in his family. His father’s younger sister Aunt Eleanor made the unforgivable mistake of marrying a penniless engineering PhD student, instead of the filthy rich lawyer, 20 years of her senior, who was her parents’ choice. Aunty Eleanor thanked but no thanks, and on her 21st birthday, she eloped with her handsome half-Italian lover, Leonardo. She was immediately disowned and was told not to try contacting her family when she ends up on the streets eventually. But Aunty Eleanor did not end up on the streets. Her family forgot about the people who could become rich by plenty of dedication, talent and hard work even without a wealthy family background. And that was exactly what happened to Uncle Leo, who became one of the most sought-after and well-known inventors of his time. Uncle Leo always remained independent, selling his inventions for the highest or most responsible bidder, and accumulated a large wealth in the process. Aunty Eleanor used her art degree and knowledge of art history and ran one of the most successful art-dealing businesses in New York, adding her own well earned and considerable wealth to the sum.

Aunty Eleanor died little more than a year ago in heart failure; she could never recover from losing her dearest Leo earlier that year. They never had children, which Oliver found incredibly sad, as they were lovely people and would have been amazing parents. They doted on Oliver instead. When he was born, Aunty Eleanor was already cut off, but what Oliver’s parents did not know, that he was seeing her almost every week since he was a baby. Oliver’s nanny, Christy was a long-standing employee in their household, and also happened to be Eleanor’s best friend, and she would take Oliver with her whenever she visited the couple. She was not worried that little Oliver would accidentally reveal this to his parents, as they did not care about the little boy. He came as a surprise to them, almost ten years after their last child, and they could not be bothered going through the whole baby/toddler thing again. So he was pushed onto Christy until he became old enough to oblige their demands regarding career and marriage. What parental love Oliver received came from Nanny Christy, Aunty Eleanor and Uncle Leo.

Interestingly, although Oliver was the only person who had a close relationship with Aunty Eleanor, her funeral was crowded by her close and distant relatives, including Oliver’s parents and siblings. “ _Vultures_ ”. The entire large family pointedly ignored Oliver, no doubt everyone knew about the “shameful” ending of his marriage and having an “unnatural” relationship with a man. Elio was not yet with him at that point, but Katie made sure to drag their name into the mud as much she could in front of the family and friends.

Oliver found the reading of the will hysterical. The entire family was present, no doubt hoping to inherit. However, they were left sourly disappointed after the lawyers listed the charities generously donated by Aunty Eleanor, and announced that the sole heir of the vast fortune was Oliver. He became wealthier than his entire extended family combined.

Oliver was sure that many people envied him that day, wishing themselves in his place. What they did not know, that on that night Oliver felt more miserable than ever in his entire life. He was sitting at the kitchen table of his quiet apartment, alone, eating cheap Chinese take-out from the shop on the corner. He rarely cried, but that night, he could not hold back.

The parents and siblings who he dearly loved, or at least did his best to love as a child, did not even want to look at him. The only family who cared about him is now dead and buried, leaving him completely alone, and the only person he ever loved was an ocean away, deciding whether he wanted him or not. At age twenty-five, Oliver felt like a hundred. He was rich but desolate, he had money but no one to share it with.

Oliver did not touch his fortune. The next Monday he put on his stylish but reasonably priced clothes and took the underground to the university where he gave his lectures as usual, and tackled meetings and administrations. On his way home he popped into the grocery store, bought mostly discounted ingredients, went home and cooked dinner for himself. His inheritance sat in the bank untouched, apart from a sum he used for purchasing a baby grand piano, which now stood in the corner of his spacious living room. Because he hoped. That is what you do when you played all your cards, and there was simply nothing else left to do. You hope and wait.

After a couple of weeks in this coma, on a rainy summer afternoon, Elio turned up, completely drenched by the rain, and since then life was more beautiful than ever before.

Oliver’s thoughts were brought back to the present when he heard a sleepy-soft “Oliver” from the bedroom. He stopped what he was doing and went to see his Elio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, not much happened, but I felt that I needed to put things into context in order to understand their situation. It will be more interesting from the next chapter.  
> I am thinking about writing another story about their time between the first summer and reunion...total angst-fest. What do you think?  
> I am still not very happy about the style but I think I will improve as I go, practice will surly help. I hope that despite the passivity you enjoyed reading about the boys. I would love to hear your comments :)


	3. Neighbours and confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet some of the neighbours, Pete is back, and finally, Oliver confronts Elio about the note he found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, As Always I am so thankful for your comments and kudos. This work originally was a one-shot/max 3 chapters; now I have 10-12 outlined. This is the power of your words and support :) <3  
> This chapter is a bit shorter; also, Elio is awake, so the fluff is back.  
> Again, I am sorry for any mistakes or awkwardness; I am trying to improve my writing every day.  
> I hope you will enjoy! <3

Elio started to feel much better the next day. Thankfully it was Saturday so Oliver could keep an eye on him. He bundled him up in several soft blankets and placed him on the living room sofa with his favourite books and warm tea. He did catch him once sitting at his piano and working on his composition. Oliver scolded him, picked him up and put him back into the nest. Elio grumbled a bit along the lines of “tyranny” and “free will”, but after five minutes soft snores could be heard from the bottom of the blanket pile. Thanks to Oliver’s nursing abilities Elio returned to his snarky-bratty himself by the evening, which was a blessing in a very convincing disguise.

Sunday morning Oliver was walking back home from the gym. Sometimes Elio came with him. He was always active and missed cycling and running but the polluted New York air, especially at winter, left him with a nasty cough more than once already. It obviously affected his piano practices, so he took up swimming instead at the nearby pool and went to the gym with Oliver time to time. Elio was slender but toned, and Oliver could see the promise of a stunning body once his boy grows into it. Not that it mattered to Oliver. ” _Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind_ ”.

It was a cold but sunny winter day, and he thought that they could go for a walk with Elio, now that the boy was feeling better. Well, it all depended on how their conversation was going to go. Oliver avoided the subject of the letter yesterday, but the time had come for them to discuss it. He would be lying to say that he was not nervous about it; he was sure that Elio would be upset and try to dodge the questions or maybe even lie. Oliver could only hope that he would have the strength to push the boy and force the truth out of him.

Opening the apartment door, he heard music coming from the living room with Elio singing along with full volume and the smell of Italian roast and freshly baked pastry filled the air. _Home_. He found Elio sitting on the living room floor on spread out newspapers, surrounded by gardening tools and compost. His freshly washed and dried hair was crazy fluffy with curls sticking out in all directions, and smudges of compost covered his face. He was wearing Oliver’s oversized jumper, practically swimming in it. He looked good enough to eat.

“What are you up to love?” He asked Elio as he bent down to kiss the top of his head. In the last minute, Elio turned his head, so Oliver caught him on his mouth. Oliver smiled into his lips. He took Elio’s face in his hands and deepened the kiss. When they finally separated Elio sniffed into his neck.

“You smell like winter mornings and man.” He said.

“And you smell like summer peaches and home” Oliver replied.

“That is my new peach shampoo. I thought you would appreciate it” Elio said with a wide cheeky grin, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Brat” Oliver said and flicked Elio’s nose.

“Ouch! Careful with my nose, it is an important asset of my face.” Elio said while he returned to his previous activity and proceeded to measure compost into a pot with his little spade.

“Where did you get those from?” Asked Oliver looking at the tools and also the mess Elio managed to made, but he chose not to comment on that out of self-preservation.

“From Sarah. I went to show Pete to her; whether he could be saved or not. She said that I should try to replant him into new compost, and she gave all this to me.”

Sarah was one of their neighbours. She was a biologist researcher, and her home was flooded by different kind of exotic plants and flowers. She lived with her friend, Joanna, who was a somewhat bohemian but very talented painter and designer; her works were tastefully arranged in the flat. The girls also had an amazing tropical fish tank, and a pair of yellow canaries and Oliver and Elio loved to visit them and look at all the pretty things in their home. They were around Oliver’s age, and the boys got on well enough with them to call them close friends; they often had dinner together or went out for drinks, many times inviting other friends of both sides. All of them had a very different occupation and interests, but as they were all open-minded, intelligent and kind, it made their conversations diverse and satisfying. It reminded Oliver to the dinners at the Perlman Villa, and he knew that Elio felt the same way.

Oliver noticed a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table; he picked one up and took a bite. Nice.

“Are these from Sarah too?”

“Oh no, they are from Mrs McLachlan. She gave them to me when she saw me leaving Sarah’s.”

Oliver swiftly spat out the cookie. He took the entire plate to the kitchen. He fished out their antiseptic solution and rinsed his mouth then threw the cookies into the blender, poured the rest of the solution on them and turned the blender up to max power. After a couple of seconds, he turned it off, went to the bathroom and poured the entire mess down the toilet. He flushed and disinfected the toilet. After leaving the jug and the cookie plate in an antibacterial soak in the kitchen sink, he went back to the living room.

“Elio, did you touch those cookies?”

“Hm?”

Elio was very focused on stuffing poor Pete into his new pot, and Oliver hoped that the little guy would survive the trauma. Elio was confident in his gardening skills; he thought that because his mother was good with plants, he should be too. Oliver was convinced that gardening skills were not passed over with genes but kept his opinion to himself. Again, self-preservation.

“Oh no, You always told me I mustn’t eat anything coming from her” Elio replied finally.

 _Thank God_. Oliver thought; he would rather not have Elio’s stomach washed out in the hospital. That was what happened to Oliver the last time he accepted a harmless-looking gingerbread man from Mrs McLachlan two years ago. The sweet old lady was a widow with two dead husbands, and Oliver did wonder sometimes...

“I did play with Poochie a bit though; I couldn’t resist he is such a sweet puppy.” Elio Said.

“ ...Right.” Oliver replied unconvinced.

It was another mystery. Mrs McLachlan had an extremely ugly, rat-sized dog called Poochie. Oliver loved dogs, but he thought that Poochie was a vicious fucking mongrel straight from the deepest depths of Hell. He terrorised the entire apartment building, the children at the nearby playground and Oliver witnessed a full-grown German Sheppard quivering in fear as Poochie walked by. The only living being who Poochie adored was Elio, resulting in receiving a lot of death-cookies from his grateful owner and Elio wanting to play with the rat whenever he saw it. Oliver had a lot of bullets to dodge.

The rest of their morning was spent in warm domesticity, and Oliver felt sorry to end their little idyll, but he couldn’t chicken out now. He glanced over at the boy who was laying on the thick rug, reading a book.

“Elio, I want to talk to you about something.” He started.

Elio looked up and furrowed his eyebrows when he saw his tense expression. He sat up, crossed his legs and faced Oliver.

“Ok, I am listening.”

Oliver took a deep breath and put the note he found on the coffee table right in front of Elio.

“What is this?” He asked the boy.

Elio stared at the piece of paper and went pale. He looked up at Oliver then down to his lap. He already started the nervous fidgeting and squirming.

“It is nothing really...it is not important...” He started.

 _Here we go_. Oliver thought. The boy will totally try to play it all down.

“Elio,” Oliver said sternly. “Don’t even try to convince me that this is nothing; I can see how uncomfortable you are. Don’t think I haven’t realised that this was the reason why you were so upset. Come on baby, tell me, please.”

“No, it’s not; it was Pe..”

“Elio!”

“Why are you questioning me?! I told you it is not important!” Elio jumped up and wanted to leave the room.

Oliver stood up and grabbed his arm.

“No, you are not leaving until we discuss this.” Oliver said. He tried to keep as calm as possible.

“No! I don’t want to; you can’t make me!” Elio tried to squirm out of his grasp, but Oliver didn’t let him. He was starting to feel like shit though, for causing the boy more distress.

“Elio, please; this is serious, what if something happens and..?

“Nothing will happen! Nothing happened after the previous ones; I said it’s...”

“The previous ones?!” Oliver asked in disbelief.

Elio flinched, and his face turned red. He couldn’t meet Oliver’s eyes.

“Elio...How many?” Oliver asked, his voice everything but calm now.

Elio didn’t answer; he was looking at his feet and nervously tugging at the bottom of his jumper. He looked like a child. The thought that someone was tormenting him enraged Oliver to a frightening level.

“How many, Elio?!” He shook the boy a little.

“Twelve.” Elio said in a defeated voice.

 _Twelve._ Oliver felt his heart thumping in his chest in panic; he was so incredibly angry. He was angry with Elio but also scared for him. He had to know more.

“Since when?” He asked the mortified boy. He couldn’t feel sorry for him now. Not until he knew what was going on.

“September.” Elio said very quietly.

Oliver couldn’t believe what he was hearing; he was seeing red.

“You have been receiving threatening messages, for more than three months and you didn’t say a word to me.” His voice was hard and angry.

“I told you; it is not important...nothing happened...”

“Do you hear yourself, Elio?!” Oliver knew he was raising his voice, but he didn’t care anymore. “Someone out there making an effort to make you scared; what do you think, how long it will take until they want more?!”

Elio didn’t answer just kept looking at the floor.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Oliver asked tugging on the boy’s arm when he didn’t say anything.

“I-I didn’t want you to see them; I didn’t want to cause you any more problems.” Elio said to the floor.

“Any more problems?... Elio what are you talking about?”

Elio was just standing in front of him, now tugging at his curls with nervous hands. Oliver saw that gesture many times when Elio was sitting in front of the Piano frustrated, struggling to get something right. Now he had angry tears in his eyes as he tried to get out of Oliver’s hand, but he didn't let him go.

“ELIO SPEAK!!!” Oliver shouted losing his patience and Elio jumped in fright.

“ Yo-Your divorce..your marriage is over; your parents cut you off. Because of me” Elio was shaking badly as he forced the words out of himself. “I don’t know how-how to behave. I know that everyone thinks...my parents and Vimini and the others...they think that I am just a kid and if I don’t pull myself together you will get tired of me. I-I just don’t want to give you any more trouble.” He finished in a pained voice.

Oliver was staring at Elio; he felt like he was struck by lightning. _What the hell?... What the actual hell is he saying?... Did Elio have so little faith in their relationship; in him?_ He did not know what to say and felt that he needed to clear his head and think about the whole thing alone. Oliver was incredibly angry and hurt for being lied to for months, but he was also very confused about Elio’s last statement.

Not being able to trust his own words and actions, Oliver silently turned around, put on his boots and coat and left the apartment shutting the door behind him. He ran down the stairs, out to the street and started walking towards the Park very fast, hoping to burn off the boiling anger inside of him.

They had much bigger problems than he originally thought. Elio is riddled with insecurities about their relationship, and it resulted in being dishonest about a very serious and potentially dangerous situation. Twelve of those awful letters were sent to the boy. _Twelve!_ Oliver was sure that this was a crime category already and sure as hell that he would go after the fucker who was tormenting Elio. And he would have a long conversation with the boy pulling every detail, every doubt, every little dark thought out of him, and clear away all of them until there was nothing left to hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, the boys have a complex problem to deal with. Next is Elio's POV. (plummeting into angst!)  
> I hoped you enjoyed reading the chapter.  
> I wonder if my style is a bit rushed, maybe I should spend more time describing things, situations and emotions, I just don't want to be boring.  
> Any advice and comment would be highly appreciated; I would love to hear what you think! :)


	4. Muddy waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio remembers the most painful time of his life, and as Oliver promised, they have a long conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, As always, thank you so much for the kudos and comments, your feedback and support means so much to me! You really are the best!  
> This is a longer chapter, starting with Elio's memories followed by a long chat with Oliver. It is a less active part again, more about emotions and thoughts.  
> I am writing my thesis currently, so the updates might be a bit slow, but I already have most of the chapters outlined, so I will definitely finish the story.  
> I hope you will enjoy it! :)

Elio slid down to the floor near the sofa; he couldn’t stop shaking. He fucked this up so badly. He cursed his inability to be honest and speak up. Oliver was the closest human being to him, someone how understood him completely, without judgement and put up with his insanity every single day. And Elio loved him so - so much, more than anything. And yet, he found it easier to hide a part of himself that he deemed too ugly to come into contact with Oliver. Anxiety, insecurity, timidity, isolation, self-loathing, and several other feelings that he could not name, but they were all dark and always lurked at the corners of his conscious mind, sometimes even taking over and causing him nauseating headaches, like now. Poor Oliver; Elio knew well that his gorgeous boyfriend loved him more than anything; he showed it every day with words and actions. He deserved so much more than Elio could give.

When Elio fell in love with Oliver like everyone else in B that summer, he couldn’t believe that he was chosen to be loved by this amazing and beautiful person. He felt infinite love and desire first time in his life, and the first time in his life he felt understood, he felt at ease, he was Oliver and Oliver was Elio, and they arrived at a place together that very few manage to reach in their lifetime.

During their time in Rome Elio found the path he wanted to follow in life, to be surrounded by music and literature and likeminded people, and not to be afraid to express his sexuality. He found his confidence and felt liberated.

Then it was all taken away. And it was not gone with Oliver. Elio always knew that he was not to stay at the first place; it pained him more than anything, and the bittersweet longing was unbearable sometimes. But everything that Elio found during those weeks was still with him.

His newly found comfort with himself was crushed after Oliver’s phone call and by the reaction of his family and friends to it.

Oliver was engaged to be married. What was a life-changing event for Elio, was a summer fling for Oliver. It stung his heart so hard that it was hard to breath. But still, it happens, life sucks sometimes, people break up or divorce every day, and Elio tried his hardest not to resent Oliver and to wish him happiness.

What made Elio feel like nothing but thin air was the fact that everyone found his situation natural. They all knew about their relationship; his parents, Vimini, Chiara, Marzia; sooner or later but everyone knew it. None of them questioned Oliver’s actions for a second. Elio’s parents congratulated him for his engagement, attended his wedding. They took Elio’s acceptance granted. Vimini exchanged letters with Oliver frequently, gushing about his achievements. The girls would chat about the wedding, how dashing he would look and wonder about his bride. At times like that Elio just quietly observed them wondering whether they did not know the immense pain he was in and how their words hurting him or they just chose to ignore it.

It seemed to Elio that everyone thought that it was completely natural that Oliver left him. It was understandable; it wasn’t worth mentioning. Elio surly knew this; that he was just kid who wouldn’t stand a chance against a sophisticated woman with the promise of children and respect from society. Silly little darling Elio surely didn’t think that he would be chosen; surely he didn’t hope? He must be over it; he is our smart little boy after all. He was the baby of the family, never taken seriously and he felt that his heartbreak and terrible pain were deemed insignificant by the people who should have comforted him. Often at quiet nights, Elio wondered what to make of this. Was he really worth so little? Was it really natural that he was abandoned? Would that be so unfathomable that a person would choose his heart instead of the acceptance of society? Probably. Was he really silly for hoping? Undoubtedly. He was stupid. _“I am so stupid”; “I am sorry, I am so stupid”_.

Elio suspected that he was oversensitive and thought too much into his relationship with Oliver. However, knowing it did not make it any easier; just as like knowing the fact that you suffer from depression does not make you feel any less depressed. He thought that maybe he should talk to someone, but similarly to the time when he wanted to talk about his feelings for Oliver, he could not find anyone to confide in. And this time, no Oliver either.

In the course of a couple of weeks, Elio convinced himself with one hundred per cent certainty, that Oliver never loved him at the first place, and he would not have deserved it anyway because he was not a worthy human being. He grew quiet. He felt more alone than ever. Now he indeed felt like a small child, left behind. The few bloomed petals of his confidence were plucked without mercy, and the budding persona of the bright, open and self-assured man he was going to become although wasn’t dead but froze and sunk under the muddy waters of insecurity and anxiety.

He composed and played the piano more than ever before; music flowed out of him for the feelings he had no words for. He smoked and drank a bit more than what his liberal parents could let slide. They asked him to speak, but by then it was too hard to transfer the emotions into words. He knew that his parents would never hurt him intentionally; they just thought that their son was stronger and more rational. _“I am sorry for being weak. I am sorry Papa, you said to let myself feel but I feel too much, and I am not strong enough to bear it”_. He did not want to disappoint his parents, so he lied.

“It is OK, Maman, school is a bit stressful. I am always careful; sorry to make you worry.”

Music remained. He played and played and finally played himself into Juilliard. He hoped that the summer before his first university year would be calm, and joyful just like during his childhood. It wasn’t. Oliver intended to visit again, this time with his wife. Elio’s family and friends welcomed them with open arms.

There are times in your life when all your energy goes into just holding yourself straight and trying not to crumble. That time was like that for Elio. _“Just breath in and out; in and out” “Don’t look in the eyes, always above the shoulders” “Shake hands” “Smile, be pleasant” “Don’t scream” “Don’t throw up, hold back just a little more”._

After THEY arrived, his music died, and silence settled in. One evening his parents scolded him for not playing the piano or even talking to the guests. For a second his mask slipped as he looked into their eyes. Elio did not know what they saw there, but they both gasped and reached for him, but Elio just walked away quickly ignoring their plea to come back and talk to them. They never asked him again to entertain the guests; they must have suspected that something went horribly wrong. They tried very hard to get him to talk, but Elio loved them too much to reveal that he felt betrayed. His relationship with his parents changed; loving still but a bit too polite and less open. They missed their happy and mischievous son and desperately tried to get him back, but Elio closed himself up too hard for anyone to reach. He would never forget his parents’ faces before he left for New York; they looked devastated and to Elio’s deep sadness now accompanied by strong guilt.

Elio sighed and leant his head back on the sofa. His headache intensified by thinking about the past. The weird thing was that all those things that happened shouldn’t have mattered to him anymore. That awful time was over, he was happy; he got what he dreamt of, his Oliver. He had a part-time job he adored, friends he loved. He was the head of his year at Juilliard with the promise of a stellar career. Still, the past hurt cast its shadow. Things got better with his parents after he got back together with Oliver and they visited the villa in August. But the wonderful easiness he felt with his parents never returned. His insecurity and fear of being abandoned again remained as well. And now he hurt his Oliver too.

The events of those months were like thorns in his flesh, left untreated. They were not extracted but embedded; not hurting him harshly anymore but spreading their poison slowly.

He knew well that hiding those letters was a huge blow to their relationship. However, the mere thought of disturbing their peace that they worked so hard for terrified him. Similarly, although he longed for his parents, he was afraid of hurting them more by being honest.

“What should I do?” He asked aloud from the ceiling. He felt utterly helpless.

The front door opened and the next minute Oliver came into the living room carrying two paper cups. Elio recognised that they were from his coffee shop and he could smell the delicious scent of lavender-chamomile tea. Oliver sat down on the sofa, his legs near Elio who was still sitting on the floor. Elio could never resist touching him when they were close, so he gently bumped his head against Oliver’s knee and closed his eyes. He could feel a warm hand gently sinking into his curls and stroking his head.

“You okay?” Oliver asked quietly.

“Me okay.”

“Headache?”

Elio just nodded into Oliver’s thigh.

“Drink some of the tea; Jill put lavender honey in yours.” Oliver said, handing him one of the cups.

Elio took a couple of sips and breathed deep into the cup smelling the soothing scent. It always helped him with his headaches. He leant back to the sofa, closing his eyes again.

“I am sorry for shouting, but I was very angry with you. I still am.” Oliver said.

“Why are you so kind to me if you are angry?” Elio asked.

“Goose. I might be angry, but I still love you the same.” Oliver said and resumed to gently stroke Elio’s curls.

They fell silent for a couple of minutes simply enjoying being close to each other.

“Are you afraid that I will leave you?” Oliver asked eventually.

“Yes”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“No, I don’t so tell me.”

Elio sighed tiredly. “You left behind so much for me Oliver. You know it is true; one day you might regret it.” _And that day I will die_. Elio added in his head.

“You should stop thinking like that. All I left behind was a terrible relationship with a terrible person and my family who were that only on paper. The only feeling I have when I think about them is an uncomfortable tightness in my stomach. Quite frankly, I consider myself lucky that I was able to get away. I came to my senses, and that was thanks to you. Elio, I gave up on you and my own true nature once already, and it almost killed me. I learnt from it.”

“You won’t be able to have children. I know you love them and you would be an amazing father.”

“This is all true in your case as well Elio. You gave up on all those when you chose me. You don’t value yourself enough to see that the sacrifice on your side is just as big as on mine.”

“I never thought of it as a sacrifice...I didn’t have another choice if I wanted to be happy.”

“Same here.” Oliver said. “Aunty Eleanor said to me once: _‘Life is all about choices; and unless you are one of the very few, you cannot have it all, Oliver. You can either choose cold comfort, or hardship laced with indescribable happiness and joy. But remember; being true to yourself always pays off at the end just as denying yourself for the sake of others will have catastrophic consequences’_ I experienced this on my own skin, Elio.”

“Was it like that for them; for your aunt and uncle?”

“Yes, in the beginning, very much so. They were poor and shunned by both of their families.”

“Both? Not only yours?” 

“Well, Uncle Leo was from an American-Italian catholic family, and he married a Jewish girl...you can imagine how that went down.”

“Yeah... so much pointless hatred.”

“Indeed, but they loved each other very much, and made it through. After Uncle Leo died, Aunty always said that she would give her entire fortune just for another minute with him.”

“I wish I had met her; and your uncle too.”

“Well, I took Aunty to the Julliard Spring Concert; she saw you playing.”

“What?!” Elio was very surprised, Oliver never mentioned this before. He looked up at Oliver, and he could tell that he was a bit embarrassed.

“She was worried about me” Oliver started his explanation. “My divorce was finalised around that time, and my family made their point. I was very emotionally exhausted, and I could not hide it from her, although I tried. She was getting quite weak by then, and I think she knew that she didn’t have a long time left. She also knew about you. She said she wanted to see the person I loved.”

“So you brought her to the concert” Elio concluded. “Did she like my playing?”

“She absolutely loved it. She said to be patient and never give up on you.”

“She must have been an amazing person, your uncle too...I wonder if they would have liked me.”

“They would have adored you. Aunty Eleanor would have scolded you for hiding things though, and probably no afternoon snacks. That was the punishment for Uncle Leo whenever he left his things laying around in the house” Said Oliver smiling.

“That is savage” Elio laughed.

Oliver tilted Elio’s head back gently and looked into his eyes.

“Elio, I would not give you up for anything including the possibility a future where I have a wife and children. That future might not even existed in the first place. We are. We are here; this is our reality. Stop questioning it.”

“Yeah...I am so sorry. I just wish...” Elio said, but he couldn’t finish it.

“You wish what?” Oliver insisted, but Elio just shook his head.

“Elio, we just talked about hiding things. Out with it, what do you wish for?”

“To be equal to you” The boy blurted out and immediately winced; it was too harsh.

Elio heard Oliver swallow and felt his hand twitch on his head. He risked a glance at Oliver’s face, and he could tell that he was upset again. _Oh no, I am fucking it up again._ Elio thought bitterly.

“Okay, Elio you have to explain this to me very carefully, so I will understand exactly how you feel baby, okay? What makes you feel that you are not equal in our relationship?”

Oliver did a very good job not to sound upset. He was so patient. Elio could tell that he was making so much effort to get into Elio’s stupid head and sort out the mess in there. Elio knew that he had to be honest with him. He wanted to be honest. He had to make an effort too so they can move on together. So he spoke.

“You are older than me and more experienced” He started, trying to control his voice. “Sometimes or more than sometimes, I feel like a child who cannot possibly be an equal partner. And I want to. I want to support you and comfort you and give you advise when you need it. Because you do that all for me. I want to be someone you can rely on and lean on. And right now I don’t feel that way, and it makes me very insecure. And I know that our friends and my parents think this as well, that I am just a kid and I am burdening you with my silliness, and I should be more mature. It makes me feel awful and so small. But I also feel that I am trying my best, and I don’t know that what everyone expects from me. I am tired of hearing that I am not good enough for you; I feel like shit already, and they just make it worse.” Elio finished, and he could feel the tears coming again. He couldn’t believe it he was turning to a fucking toddler, crying all the time. It was so embarrassing. He wiped his tears with harsh, angry movements but Oliver caught his hands, bent down again and hugged him close.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, baby. Thank you for telling me.” Oliver kept hugging him until Elio calmed down again.

“Elio, I understand why you feel this way; I think it often happens when there is a gap of experience between partners. But baby, what about the last couple of weeks? It was you who was taking care of me and the house. You were so amazing, I felt so comfortable, and I felt that I was getting real help and you made my life so much easier. And you do listen to my problems and give me good advice. You even reviewed my syllabus and made valuable suggestions. Not to mention that you are a top student at Juilliard and very good at your part-time job as well. Elio, you are taking care of your partner, you exercise regularly, you keep up with the housework, you can hold conversations with prominent professors, you are an excellent, award-winning student and all the while you are earning money and contribute to the household expenses. This is more than most grown people can say about themselves. You literally have no reason to be insecure on the contrary; you should be very proud of yourself. And yet, you are still so humble” Oliver said, while he was stroking his back. Elio could hear the smile in his voice.

“Are you not annoyed when my insanity is spilling out or when I am being a brat?” Elio asked on his stuffy nose voice.

Oliver let out a genuine happy laugh, and Elio instantly felt a bit better.

“No, Goose. You have a child-like enthusiasm, joy and curiosity about the world. It is beautiful, and I hope you will never grow out of it, and I also adore your mischievous side. This doesn’t mean that you are not mature enough.”

Oliver held Elio’s face in his hands and looked into his eyes. He gently wiped away the tears with his thumb.

“You make my heart light Elio. I love every part of you, and I am thankful for every day I spend with you. You are my dream came true. So please stop hurting yourself my love, I cannot stand seeing you in pain.”

Elio couldn’t form words. He only nodded and kissed into Oliver’s palm. He could feel his worries leaving his mind and all of a sudden it was easier to breath, like a giant weight had fallen off of his chest.

“Thank you, Oliver, thank you so much.” Elio whispered.

“There is nothing to thank me for Elio; this is the truth. It might take time until you are fully comfortable and confident again, but I will be here to help you, so please talk to me if you feel down okay? We can overcome this together.” Oliver said, and Elio nodded in agreement.

“Now, Elio I know you are tired, but I want you to tell me that what is going on with your parents. I noticed that something was slightly off when we visited in August.”

“Do I have to do it know?” Elio asked on a small voice. He felt more exhausted than for a very long time, the dull pulsing ache in his head didn’t help the situation either.

“Yes, I want you to let everything out now. You will feel much better afterwards.”

So Elio told him about everything that happened after Oliver’s phone call, how the family and the others reacted and how it made him feel about himself and the entire situation. They sat in silence for a while then with a heavy sigh Oliver spoke.

“I am so sorry that I caused this; this is awful.”

“It is really not your fault Olive, in fact, it has almost nothing to do with you. It is my messed up brain again.”

“Don’t say that; everyone would have struggled in that situation. But to think that it made you feel so worthless ...and it caused you a lasting problem. This is why you kept those letters a secret; this is why you are anxious, and these headaches of yours... did they started back then?”

Elio nodded, he couldn’t really say anything after all everything was true.

“Was it really that obvious that something was wrong between us?... I tried my best to be nice...” Elio asked. He felt quite miserable.

“I don’t think it was to anyone else. I just know you better, and I could see that you were tense and quieter than usual. Also, your parents were a bit more cautious...They intervened when your cousins tried to tease you too harshly... I think that some of them are real assholes by the way.”

“We can agree in that” Elio said grimly “I didn’t notice that about my parents.”

“Of course you didn’t, you were far too focused on playing footsie with me under the table.” Said Oliver with a wide grin, making Elio laugh.

“Just talk to them, Elio. I think they genuinely didn’t know that you were hurting so much. You got alarmingly good at hiding yourself. You managed to keep those letters secret for months without me suspecting anything. It is a very adult treat, and it makes me a little bit sad that you learnt how to do it. Back then you were so easy to read...you were such a little dork” Oliver said and laughed when Elio pouted and lightly punched his thigh.“You have to let them know about your feelings, so they have the chance to fix things. They are amazing people and love you so -so much.” He added.

“I know that...Okay, I will. I will talk to them when they are visiting for New Years.”

“Good plan. I am sure it is going to be alright. Now, I am sorry but I want you to tell me everything about the letters.”

Elio didn’t even try to protest; he knew that Oliver wouldn’t leave him alone until he tells everything.

“I found the first letter in the third week of the semester...It was hidden inside my Music History textbook...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I said, this chapter was more about Elio's thoughts and emotions; after the next, the scene will be set for the real-time stuff.  
> I hope you liked the chapter; I would be very grateful for your comments and advise. :)


	5. Letters - Part I.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio remembers the day when he received the first letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, Sorry for the wait; I am busy with thesis writing. I decided to write shorter chapters so I can post more often :)  
> As always, thank you so much for the comments and kudos; you are the best, and your support is incredible, and I am very grateful for it. <3  
> I hope you will enjoy the chapter; things are still a bit slow as we are still setting up for the "main event" :)  
> Again, sorry for any bad grammar or awkwardness; I hope my writing will improve as I progress with the story.

“I found the first letter at the third week of the semester...It was hidden inside my Music History textbook...” Elio started his story.

He remembered very well that day, it was a Wednesday, and he had double piano practice with his tutor, Prof. Steiner that morning. He was in a very good mood; the practice went wonderfully, and Steiner praised the alterations he made on his new piece. He was an excellent tutor with an incredibly vast knowledge of classical and modern music considering his relatively young age. He broadened Elio’s horizons in a way that allowed him to develop his own, unique style. Steiner was very strict, not tolerating tardiness or slacking off, but also very caring. Once, he even called Oliver at Columbia to come and drag Elio home because he had a cold and he couldn’t stand the boy dripping snot all over the piano. The two men met a couple of times and got along very well. Elio was convinced that they bonded over the endless teasing sessions he had to endure from both of them.

He was happily skipping towards the library; there were still a couple of hours until his shift started in the cafe, so he decided to get some work done. He had to finish an essay for Honors Theory, and he would get it done sooner rather than later. The module leader was a real demon, just the previous week he thrown a student out of class for yawning. Elio would rather not get on his bad side with a late submission.

His classmates often said that Elio was a real nerd, handing in assignments days early and starting to prepare for exams weeks before they were due. The truth was that he couldn’t really handle the tension and anxiety that came with procrastination and cramming so he always tried to keep up with his studies and assignments. He was always nervous before exams and recitals to the point of throwing up almost every time, so he was sure that more stress would simply kill him.

Having a good routine also meant that he had more time for his hobbies outside of music. His hobbies included walking in the park with Oliver, watching movies with Oliver, reading with Oliver, cooking with Oliver, grocery shopping with Oliver, washing Oliver in their big bathtub, having Oliver to was him in their big bathtub, vegging out with Oliver, kissing Oliver, making love to Oliver...etc. He also liked swimming as well.

He entered the library and headed toward his favourite spot. It was nice and quiet; not many students were hanging around before the afternoon. He settled down in a secluded corner and started taking out all of the books he needed from his bag and nicely arranged them on the table. Elio loved the library, the warm colours and the characteristic smell of the books. It was somehow very comforting and reminded him of his father’s studies in the Villa and their home in Milan. Books were his best friends and comfort for a very long time and surrounded by them; he never felt completely alone.

He opened his notebook where he finished writing the draft the day before and read it through. Sweet; he only needed to add a couple of more details and edits. He would have Oliver to proofread it that evening and then it was ready for submission tomorrow. He opened his textbooks at the relevant pages and set to the task. Three hours solid work and a short coffee break later the essay was done, and he started to gather his things to head to the cafe. He would still be early for his shift, but he was starving and wanted to have lunch there. Their chef, Kei planned Japanese style spaghetti napolitan for that day’s lunch menu. When Elio first heard about the Japanese version if his beloved comfort food, was mildly outraged but it took only one bite to convince him about the importance of cultural interaction of the culinary arts. It was so good that he brought a big serving home for Oliver. The cutest thing he ever witnessed was his Oliver sitting cross-legged on the sofa stuffing his face with pasta with complete abandon, and blushing furiously when he realised that he had tomato sauce all over his mouth, chin and nose. Elio cleaned him up nicely. He also took a photo of him, and since then he has been using it as blackmail material. He smiled at the memory; he missed Oliver so much, which was crazy considering that he only parted with him that morning and will be seeing him in a couple of hours. Elio was completely lovesick.

He picked up his last textbook to put it in his bag and saw a piece of paper falling out of it. He bent down and picked it up from the floor thinking that it was one of his notes, but looking closely he realised that it did not belong to him. It looked like a photocopy of an old newspaper. Maybe it was Shannon’s or Chris’s; they studied together the day before. He started to read the paper to get a better idea who might it belonged to, but after the first couple of lines when his brain processed the content, he started to feel nauseous. He had to sit down. " _What the hell is this?_  " The article was about the imprisonment and chemical castration of gay people. It was horrid, disgusting and hateful. How something like this ended up in his textbook? He couldn’t imagine his friends reading it for their assignments either. He looked at the paper again and noticed that at the bottom of the page, there were a couple of words written with different font size and type. They were clearly put on the paper separately before it was photocopied. The words said “ **GOOD OLD TIMES** ”. His hand started to shake. “ _Was this? ... No, surely not_...” He had no idea what to think; it seemed incomprehensible that this note was sent specifically to him...who would do such a thing? On the other hand, he could not find any other explanation.

His heart sank. Only people who he considered friends knew about him and Oliver. Sure, not all of them were close friends, but still. He also thought that the musical world would be more open-minded. If he and Oliver expected negative reactions from somewhere, it was definitely not from Elio’s university circles. The malicious nature of the note deeply unsettled him. It is one thing not accepting same-sex relationships, but to be so aggressive about it...

_“Should I show this to Oliver?”_ He wondered. Bless his beautiful heart; Oliver was extremely protective of Elio, on the verge of babying him sometimes. Elio did not mind; he found it endearing, and besides both of them went through such a difficult time for so long that they were totally entitled to be mushy. The best feeling in the world was when Oliver made him a bubble bath, washed every inch of him then bundled him up in fluffy towels and just hugged him tight. It usually happened when Oliver had a difficult day at work, and he needed to be close and take care of Elio to soothe his mind; it was somehow therapeutic to him. This also meant that he simply couldn’t stand Elio being unwell in any way. For the smallest sign of a cold or flu, Elio was grounded and sent to rest with a copious amount of herbal tea. Also, a couple of weeks ago Oliver vowed that they would never watch nature movies anymore because Elio was terribly upset when a baby giraffe was killed by lions. Disney movies were also blacklisted after they watched Dumbo and the boy became a sobbing mess.

Oliver was a natural protector, and he guarded their happiness with all his might. So did Elio. Revealing the letter and make Oliver worried would only serve the sick bastard who sent it. Oliver was busy and stressed out enough because of his work already.

Mind made up, Elio headed towards the nearest bathroom. He tore the paper to pieces and flushed them down in one of the toilets. He would have burnt the letter if he could. Somehow it felt so dirty and hateful that he felt it had to be eliminated. But at least it was gone.

Deep in thoughts, he left the campus and headed towards the cafe to take up his shift. It was a sunny and warm September afternoon, not that he could enjoy it. His earlier good mood was gone, and he felt a dark and heavy cloud sitting on his mind making his head hurt and shoulders slump. Reaching the cafe, he could smell the delicious smell even outside, but this time it did not have any effect on him. He entered the shop, and immediately, a choir of _Hi Elio!_ -s greeted him from his colleagues and the regulars, and he did his best to smile and be pleasant.

“You are early Elio, would you like some lunch?” Adam, his manager, asked him as he approached the counter.

“I am not really hungry; I will just have some coffee, thanks,” He said to Adam, with a fake smile in place. All his appetite left him after dealing with the note. He didn’t think he could stomach anything.

“Are you okay? You look pale” Adam asked looking at him and furrowing his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I’m okay; just long day” Elio replied and went to the staff room to change. He put on his uniform of black slacks, burgundy button down and black apron then went to the kitchen to say hello to their chef, Kei and the patisserie, Mona.

“Elio, hi! Get a plate and have some pasta.” Kei greeted him with a big smile. Elio wondered why everyone wanted to feed him immediately whenever they met. " _Maybe because I am a shrimp. Or because I have that kind of childish face that people just want to squeeze and pinch and give me lollipops and candy"_. He thought mildly annoyed then he immediately felt ashamed. These people were his friends; taught him and looked after him every day. He should be grateful for them and not annoyed when they were overprotective. He sat down at the kitchen counter and poured some coffee.

“I am not hungry yet, thank you. I will take two portions home; Oliver will be happy.” He said, offering the same fake smile than before. It really worked. He developed his “ _I am OK_ ” mask to perfection.

“Eat some cake later” Mona chimed in. “I just sliced up the raspberry and chocolate cake.” She said cheerfully as she placed the beautiful cake on the counter.

Mona was a true artist, and Elio was convinced that she put some magic in her creations to make everyone who ate them feel better. Magic or drugs. Whichever was it, it worked.

Elio chatted with them over his coffee, and it made him feel a bit better. He started his shift soon after and tried to forget about the whole incident. Well, he obviously couldn’t. His stupid over-thinking mind could not stop speculating about the identity of the sender, and his thoughts were running the same circles all afternoon:

They must have slipped the note inside his book during the morning or the last afternoon. His day started with a lecture for the entire second-year music majors. Literally everyone present could have done it.

Then he had double piano practice with Steiner, but why would his own teacher want to sabotage him? Elio’s performance reflected on him as well. Steiner also knew about him and Oliver, and he had never expressed any dislike about their relationship, in fact, he hinted that he had his fair share of fun before he got married. The man was so stupidly in love with his wife that it was almost comical. He walked around with hearts in his eyes and not once Elio saw the teacher buying large bouquets of red roses at the florist near the campus. Elio couldn’t imagine that Steiner’s love-saturated brain would conceive such a disgusting idea.

The previous day he studied together with Shannon and Chris, his best friends from school. They came to the cafe after Elio’s shift ended and spent the evening at one of the corner table, buried under books and notes. Elio refused to even think about the possibility that one of his friends did it. But any of the cafe’s guests could have. But what if the note was there before, he just did not notice it? That would mean that literally anyone at school or in the cafe could be the culprit. Reaching this conclusion, his mind jumped right back to the start and did the same speculation over and over again for hours, with the same outcome. It was maddening.

It was around six in the evening, and he was still deep in thought, anxiety lurking at the back of his mind when the next customer came up to the counter.

“A house filter, please.”

“Certainly Sir, would you li...” Elio looked up straight into the bluest, most beautiful eyes on the planet “Oh, hi! I am sorry, I didn’t notice you.” He said somewhat flustered, but Oliver just smiled at him sweetly.

“Long day?” He asked Elio.

“Y-Yeah, sorry” Elio answered. He was shocked; it never happened before that he missed Oliver’s arrival to the cafe. Bing the 6’5 golden sex god he was impossible to miss, and even when Elio wasn’t looking, he could hear the excited whispers and gasps of the female guests.

“So a house filter, Si...I mean Oliver...” Elio hated how flustered and meek he became whenever something threw him off balance. He could feel the heat rising in his face as Oliver was watching him, amused. “Would you like some cake? They are really soft...and yummy...I mean.. urgh...” Well, wasn’t this just fucking great, now he was behaving like he had brain damage.

“Elio, go have your break.” Adam said to him coming out from the kitchen. No doubt he heard his idiotic blabbering; Elio felt mortified. Just what he needed today, Oliver to see him being shit at his job.

“No, I am ok...”

“No; go sit with Oliver and eat. You haven’t had lunch; off you go! Shoo-shoo!” Adam said in a pleasant, fatherly manner then turned to Oliver.

Elio heard them talking as he went to the staff room to refresh himself. He needed to put his act together otherwise Oliver would start to interrogate him he thought, as he washed his face with cold water. He did not want to talk about the letter, hopefully, whoever was the sick fucker who sent it; they had their fill.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and scrunched his nose. He could only see a scrawny kid. Still no facial hair either; he checked it every day. The soft peach fuzz above his lips didn’t count. Seriously, where did his puberty go? He was totally half-finished.

He plastered a fake smile and easy expression on his face and exited the bathroom.

He found Oliver sitting at his usual corner table. He often came to the cafe during Elio’s afternoon shifts. He set himself up at the corner table closest to the counter and worked on his next publication or graded papers. It was an ideal place for him to escape the office, where his over-enthusiastic (mostly female) students completely ignored his office hours and interrupted his work on a daily bases. He also said that this way he could stay close to Elio, making the boy feel all warm and fuzzy.

Oliver was smiling at him as he approached the table. He could see a coffee and a muffin in front of him, and at the opposite side of the table, another large steaming coffee mug, a ham and cheese toasty, which was Elios favourite, and a large slice of chocolate-strawberry cake were waiting for him.

“Wow is this all for me?” He said stunned as he dropped down to the seat, looking at the feast. “We have to share these; I will get fat if I eat it all.”

Oliver laughed his beautiful, carefree laugh and Elio wanted to climb on his lap and lick his throat and bite his earlobe.

“You will never get fat Goose don’t worry, although a chubby Elio would be completely adorable.”

“Urgh...no it wouldn’t” Elio grimaced. “Marzia and Chiara would mock me day and night not to mention my French cousins...they would bully the shit out of me.”

“Well I don’t give a damn about either the girls or your cousins and you shouldn’t either. All I know that I would love to bite those sweet Elio rolls...” Oliver answered with a wide grin on his face and pressed his thigh against Elio’s under the table.

“You are dirty minded Oliver,” Elio said in a pretended chiding voice and serious expression. He loved Perverted Oliver.

“Look who is talking” Said Oliver but eased down with the physical contact. They were both so sensitive to each other that it was a matter of milliseconds to find themselves completely aroused by simple touches and they usually did not risk that in public. Usually.

Elio started to munch his toasty and pushed the cake in front of Oliver.

“Eat some of it; it is ginormotic”

“That is not actually a word, Elio.”

“It is.”

“It is not.”

“I just said it, so it is a word.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

They continued the easy bickering in the next twenty minutes then Elio went back behind the counter, and Oliver took out his notes to do some work until Elio’s shift ended and they could walk home together.

Elio felt so much better after spending some time with his Oliver. His spirit lifted, and he was cheerful again. ” _Everything is going to be fine,_ ” He thought as he started preparing the next order. He glanced over at Oliver who seemed to be deep in thought as he was looking at his papers and chewed on his pen. He looked so young, and Elio felt his heart swell with love. “ _We will be OK; no one can reach us; no one can hurt us._ ”

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it, thank you very much for reading it :)  
> The next part is still Elio's memories. I wanted it to be one chapter, but It would have taken too much time to write.  
> I also don't really like this chapter, so I just wanted to finish it asap and start a new one. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading the chapter and as always, I would be very grateful for your feedback :) xx


	6. Letters - Part II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio continues his story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, Finally the new chapter! Sorry for taking so long.  
> As always, thank you very much for your comments and kudos; I am incredibly grateful for your support; it really encourages me.  
> Hope you will like the new chapter. :) xx

Elio’s hopes that the letter was a one-time occurrence quickly faded a week later when he received the second one. He found it in his gym bag after his usual swimming session on Thursday morning.

It was a relatively quiet day for him, he only had one early lecture then he would work in the cafe from noon, so usually he went to the nearby pool between 10 and 11 am. It was a great period as most of the morning regulars are gone by then, and often he had the entire place just to himself. It was the case that morning as well. He just finished his usual fifty lengths and was catching his breath, holding onto the edge of the pool. He felt good; exercise always helped him clear his mind.

After resting a couple of minutes, he let go of the edge, took a deep breath and let himself sank at the bottom of the pool. He looked up towards the surface. He loved to do this; it was so quiet and peaceful down there, the gentle blue colour of the water and the golden rays coming from the strong lights above the pool reminded him the summer days in Italy. If he squinted his eyes and focused on the lights, he felt like he was in their pool in the Villa, looking into the sun from under the water. The same sun that blazed down to the Gulf of La Spezia, made the cobblestones of the piazza of B too hot to stand on and ripened the fruits in his mother’s garden. _She is picking apricots for juice, Papá is sitting at the nearby table, reading aloud from a newspaper for her and they are laughing. Anchise and Manfredi are discussing football while re-painting the garden shed and Mafalda is sitting in the shade cleaning green peas for today’s dinner. Peas that I will swallow without chewing and Oliver will laugh at me. Oliver. If I turn around, I will see him above, laying along the edge of the pool, his right hand and leg dangling into the water. He is wearing green swimming shorts. Firm, round bottom, elegant arch of his lower back...the next second I will swim up to him and run my hand along his ribcage..._

Elio ran out of air, so he swam back to the surface. He checked his watch; it was time to stop daydreaming and go to work.

He jumped out of the pool and went to take a shower. He tried his best to tame his curls and not to look completely insane. “ _Well, at least I_ tried _”_ he thought, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He was sure that as soon as he enters the cafe to take up his shift, Mona will attack him with a random hair product as per usual. And of course, it was still not the day of surprising Oliver with a five o’clock shadow.

He reached into his bag for some moisturiser but the next second pulled his hand out with a yelp. Something cut his index finger, and now it had a tiny but very annoying wound. He looked into his bag to find out what cut him and saw the white edge of a paper. He never put any paper in his gym bag so he pulled it out, somewhat confused. As soon as he took one look at it, he knew what it was. “ _Nonononono...not another one..._ ” He looked at the paper in despair.

“ **YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO LIVE LITTLE FAGGOT. YOUR DISGUSTING CORPS SHOULD BE FED TO THE PIGS** ”

Elio immediately felt the warm tickling flow from his nose. He ran to the bathroom and tried to stop the nosebleed meanwhile the usual headache settled in. He sat down near the toilet; tissue pressed to his nose. The letter was still in his hand and tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he looked at it. He took deep breaths, and when he finally managed to calm down a bit, he found that he was kind of angry. Whoever sent these letters, was a pitiful revolting person with an ugly soul and far too much time on their hands. “ _Seriously, get a life you bastard_ ”. He will not let this person terrorise him or disturb his happiness with Oliver. He took a last look at the paper then just like last time, he tore it to small pieces and flushed it in the toilet. It was where it belonged to. He washed his face after he managed to stop the nosebleed, washing away a couple of angry teardrops as well. He finished dressing and headed to the cafe with grim determination that he would not think of the letters even once.

Obviously he was obsessing over the letters all day, especially the second one. It was not in his bag when he changed into his swimsuit, he was sure of it. Someone put it there while he was swimming, which means, that they followed him to the pool and broke into his locker. This was actually incredibly alarming, but he was determined to keep his cool. The whole act was cowardly, so he doubted that a person like this would confront him directly. If the letters would continue coming, he would do the same and flushed them in the toilet.

He managed to get through his shift without any major incident. He was a bit absent minded and dropped a mug once, but apparently the “pale, languid and frail boy” role fit him perfectly, and people fawned over him more than ever.

His shift ended at 4 pm, and usually, he went straight home to study and practice, but somehow he was not in the mood today. He could skip today’s study session; he submitted all due assignments, and he was farther ahead with his studies than anyone else. Thursdays were really busy for Oliver, and usually, he didn’t come home until six or seven in the evening. Elio didn’t want to be alone. He started slowly walking away from the cafe, and when he looked around the next time, he realised that he was heading towards Columbia campus. Without thinking, his legs were taking him where his heart wanted to be. Well, why not? He could just camp out in Oliver’s office until he finishes work; it wouldn’t be unusual. Mind made up; he picked up the pace; now that he decided what to do, suddenly couldn’t wait to be near Oliver, his safe haven.

On the way there he had to walk by the pool. He stopped and looked at the building, chewing on his lower lip and hesitating for a second then with steady steps, he strolled up to the entrance and went straight to the reception.

“Hey Ruben” He greeted the man behind the desk. Elio has been coming here for so long that he knew most of the staff and vice versa.

“Elio! Did you leave something here?” The young man asked nicely.

“No-no, I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Well, probably you don’t remember but did you see anyone coming in while I was here this morning? I was alone in the pool, so I thought you might remember.” Elio said a tiny bit flustered. He realised that how strange this sounded, and sure enough, Ruben eyed him with a questioning look on his face.

“Is everything okay?” He asked Elio.

“Yes! Everything is cool, just wondered if you saw anyone.”

“If you say so...”Ruben said totally unconvinced. “Let me check the sign-in sheet” He picked up the notebook from the desk and run his finger through the rows until he found Elio’s name. “No, you were the only one who signed in between 10.00 and 11.15. There were a couple of earlier guests, who were still here, three of them signed out at 10.10. They are all regulars, an older lady and a father with his teenage son who is recovering from an injury.”

Elio remembered them; usually, they left as he came in or he met them in the dressing room. He was somewhat disappointed. He hoped that he could find out something about the person who sent the letters, but if he was honest, it was quite easy to just sneak into the building or simply write a different time on the sheet. Well, it worth a shot anyway.

“Well, thank you very much, it was a great help.” He said smiling.

“No worries, but let me know if something is up, okay?”

“Sure, thanks. See you on Monday.” Elio said smiling and left the building.

His made his way to Columbia. On the way, he purchased a National Geographic magazine. Normally he got the monthly issue from the library but this one had a baby flying fox on the cover, munching on a piece of grape and it was the cutest fucking thing he has ever seen, so he had to get it. It made him feel better.

Reaching the campus, he headed to Oliver’s office. He stepped into the administration office where the assistants were placed and saw Chloe typing away furiously. Clearly she was extremely busy, and Elio felt bad for interrupting her. He cleared his throat and Chloe looked up.

“Elio! Come give me a hug sweetheart!”

Chloe jumped up from her desk and drew Elio into one of her signature hugs. She held his face and looked into his eyes. She had all-seeing eyes, but she never asked questions. Just like his mother, she understood things instinctively.

“Go to Oliver’s office sweetie; I will bring you something to drink.”

“Oh no, it is okay. You are so busy, I feel bad for..”

“Nonsense, just go, Oliver will be back in an hour.”

“Thank you, Chloe,” Elio said and stepped into Oliver’s office and took a deep breath.

He felt at home here, Oliver’s presence was strong. He walked along the bookshelf and saw that the Armance he gave to Oliver that summer was not at its usual place, but put near the row of books like it was just held by someone a minute ago. Elio smiled. He wondered if Oliver missed him during the day and sometimes took out the book and looked at the lines he wrote for him, and gently stroked the letters... _Zwischen_ _immer und nie_...

He heard the door opening and turned around. Chloe came into the office carrying a tray with the usual mug and cookie plate combo.

“Here you go sweetie, finish it all okay? I will be outside if you need something.” She placed the tray on the coffee table and returned to her work, closing the door as she left.

Elio picked up the Armance and went to sit on the small sofa. Might as well...he would read and relax a bit until Oliver is back. Then he would attack him and lick his ear.

He snuggled up on the sofa with the book and the hot chocolate and started to read, but after a couple of minutes, he felt incredibly sleepy. He hugged the book to his chest and closed his eyes. He would rest just for a couple of minutes before Oliver is back. Then he would lick his ear for sure.

* * *

 

Elio was slowly starting to steer awake, he felt warm and content. He could hear rustling and typing sounds followed by quiet, approaching steps. He felt a warm hand carding through his hair and soft lips on his forehead. He opened his eyes and smiled at Oliver. He reached upwards and made grabby gestures with his hand. Oliver laughed and hugged him close.

“Hey sleepy, you were out for a while.”

“ ‘m sorry, didn’t mean to,” Elio mumbled, further digging himself into Oliver’s arms.

“None of that, I was quite pleased to find you curled up on my sofa, all cute” Oliver said, kissing him all over his face.

Elio loved this, he was drowsy and warm and getting lots of Oliver-kisses, and felt himself slowly falling back to sleep until Oliver shook him gently.

“Hey, don’t sleep baby, let’s go home okay? I will call a taxi.”

“muhy xi?” Elio mumbled while he tried to bury his head under Oliver’s sweater; making him laugh.

“You are sleepy, and I had a long day too. I am tired; just want to get home asap.”

“But it’s ‘xpensive”

“I am millionaire baby.”

“Good, then you can order dinner from the Firenze!” Elio sassed and his stomach followed through with a loud rumble.

Oliver laughed and jumped up from the sofa. He went to his desk and pulled out a fancy looking paper which turned out to be the menu of the Firenze.”

“Why do you have that?” Elio asked.

“It is your favourite restaurant. I need this in hand so I can pacify or bribe you with food if necessary.”

“You are an evil schemer Oliver”. Elio said and watched as Oliver dialled the restaurant and chatted with the person on the line.

He was half sitting on his desk, trousers deliciously stretching at the crotch area and powerful thighs. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbow revealing his sculpted forearms. The slight scruff on his face made him unbearably sexy, and Elio couldn’t wait to feel it scratching against his skin. But what got him completely was his Oliver’s lovely, warm smile and gentle eyes. Even talking to a complete stranger, he radiated kindness, his beautiful soul shining and lighting up the room. And Elio was so in love, so in love, he could feel his heart squeeze. He didn’t want to see anything but happiness and joy on that lovely face.

He thought about the notes again. Why would anyone condemn and hate him for loving this man? If that person would know Oliver and see how amazing he is would they act the same? Would they send hateful messages to Oliver too? And how he would act? Elio was sure that Oliver would do the same, and try to shield Elio from the whole thing. So he said nothing.

 

The letters kept coming, and he kept ignoring them or at least tried his best, but they caused him an ever-present tension and nervousness.

And things got even worse for him when he was insulted by one of his classmates who figured out that he was Jewish. Elio remembered that morning when between classes he went to the water fountain and bent down to drink. His Star of David pendant slipped from under his shirt while he was drinking and the next second his head was yanked up by it, his classmate gripping it tightly while saying unthinkable words to Elio. It was terrible, and at home, he had a proper big meltdown, and poor Oliver was beside himself with worry. Elio felt incredibly embarrassed the day after, and he was so angry with himself for behaving like a child and upsetting Oliver. His resolve of not telling him about the letters just strengthened after he saw his reaction that day.

* * *

 

Elio took a break in his story and took a sip from his tea. Oliver was still gently stroking his head.

“I feel so bad not noticing that something was amiss,” He said to Elio.

“Please don’t...I really tried hard to hide it. It was for my sake as well; to try not to think about it too much.”

“But it is impossible to completely disconnect from something like that.” Oliver said.

“Yeah, you right.” Elio nodded. “Although I didn’t read most of the notes; I threw them away immediately, the whole thing was on my mind especially on the days when I found a new letter.”

“Do you have any idea who is it?”

“No” Elio shook his head. “The only time I had a chance to find a clue was that day in the pool. After that, I only found the notes randomly in my books and bag. But probably it is someone from school.”

“Could it be that racist fucker?”

“Dwight...I thought about it, but I don’t think it is him. He would have confronted me instead of sending letters...it is just not like him.”

“Yeah, probably you are right,” Oliver said. “It is scary how many sick bastards are running around out there.”

“It makes me wonder that what happened to them to become like this” Elio said sadly and put his head back on Oliver’s lap for more pats and strokes and Oliver happily obliged.

“What do you mean, baby?” He asked.

Elio hesitated as he tried to find the right words. It was difficult to explain even to himself, that alongside being outraged and disgusted somehow he felt sorry for that person.

“Baby?” Oliver said gently “Words, please. What is on your mind?”

“Dunno. It’s just...you know, no one was born cruel and it is sad to think about that what led to it. And when I imagine that person full of so much hatred that they couldn’t even contain it and had to let it out this way...It is incredibly pitiful” He finished clumsily, fiddling with the hem of Oliver’s pants.

“Oh, Elio” Oliver kissed his head. “This is so much like you...feeling sorry for someone who is hurting you.”

“I..I can’t help it,” Elio said and felt his face heating up. “I am stupid...I am stupid aga...”

“Shhh Elio, it is okay, you are not stupid. I don’t want to hear that again baby okay?” Oliver said seriously, then smiled. “I understand how you feel...it is beautiful. I love your kind heart.”

“Really?”

“Of course you goose. Did you tell anyone about the letters?”

Elio shook his head.

“Okay. We will talk about what to do later okay? You should get some rest now. I am sorry for forcing you to speak, but it was better this way.”

“Are you still angry with me?" Elio asked looking at the floor. He hated how small he sounded.

“No baby, I can’t stay angry with you. I am just worried.” Oliver said. “No more secrets okay?”

“Yes...I am sorry.”

“Alright. Come on, let’s take a bath together.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are back in the "present". It is one week until Christmas in the story timeline so we are just in time for some xmasfluff :)  
> I hope you liked the chapter; thank you very much for reading it.  
> I would be very grateful for your comments and feedback :) xx


	7. Those who know best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after their conversation with Elio, Oliver asks for advice from the best people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the next :)  
> Thank you very much for comments and kudos for the previous chapters, I am very happy that you are still with me <3  
> Sorry for any mistakes in English or style, I am trying my best to improve.  
> Hope you will enjoy the chapter :)

It was 4 am in the morning, and Oliver was lying awake in their bed, watching as Elio finally fell into a peaceful sleep. Well for now at least. Oliver pulled the cover further up on the boy’s shoulders, then turned on his back and stared at the dark ceiling. He cursed his own idiocy and arrogance. He should have handled this situation differently, but no, he had to behave like a bull in a china shop to prove to himself and to Elio that he was capable to handle the problem. And how that turned out...

Everything seemed fine after they finished their conversation. Both of them were emotionally exhausted, especially Elio, so they went to bed early, snuggled up with a book and Oliver read aloud to his boy until he fell asleep. Everything was perfect until Oliver was woken up in the middle of the night by Elio trashing around in the bed and crying in his sleep. It took him several minutes to wake the boy up, and when he finally did, Elio bolted to the bathroom and threw up violently. He was calmer afterwards but was shaking so badly that his teeth were chattering loudly and it stopped only after a warm shower.

After sipping some warm honeyed tea, they managed to fell asleep again, just to repeat the whole episode two hours later. At that point, Oliver was so worried that he wanted to phone his doctor and ask for a house call, but Elio objected vehemently. He insisted that he should be fine, he only had nightmares, and they will go away soon. Reluctantly, Oliver agreed, then he watched as an hour later the boy started to cry again in his sleep.

On the occasions when Elio sleep-talked, he did that on three different languages; this time in French, and although Oliver didn’t fully understand him, he gathered that much to know that Elio was crying for his parents and him. Oliver couldn’t take it. He got up and went to the medicine cabinet. Before they went to Italy that summer, they got some sedatives for Elio as he was a nervous flyer. Oliver fished out the box from the cabinet; thankfully it was still almost full and went back to the bedroom.

Elio was still weeping in his sleep, and Oliver’s heart was breaking at the sight.

“Elio, wake up baby,” He said quietly and gently stroke the boy’s head and back.

Elio opened his eyes, he was half-asleep and disoriented, but Oliver managed to make him take two pills. After a couple of minutes, he fell back to sleep, his breathing evened out and had a relaxed expression on his face.

“ _Thank god,_ ” Oliver thought. “I am so sorry little goose.” He whispered to the sleeping boy.

It was truly idiotic to force Elio to talk about all that shit in one go, without warning. Oliver thought he would do the right thing, but it clearly did not work with Elio, and it made him terribly stressed out. Probably he would need professional help to get over this.

If Oliver thought about it, this reaction was not a surprise. Being sensitive and perceptive was imperative for Elio in order to create his amazing music. Steiner said the same, that the boy’s exceptional talent is built up by the natural musicality, the ability to work hard and focus so he could master the techniques and most importantly by unusual empathy and sensitivity that allowed him to understand, and resonate with various emotions and vibes around him, absorb them and express them via music. Steiner warned Oliver that although this was what allowed Elio to create his beautiful music, it also made him vulnerable, and they had to watch and protect him until he figured out how to shield himself without sacrificing his sensitivity.

Oliver checked the time, it was 4.30 am, and he had to be up around 7.30 am to get to work in time. He would take the day off to stay with Elio if he could, but the last staff disciplinary meeting of the term was held at 10.00 am and he simply couldn’t miss it. He will try to get back as soon as possible.

When Oliver woke up a couple of hours later, he found Elio in a deep sleep, thankfully. Despite the lack of sleep, Oliver was not really tired. Having a good fitness level sure had its perks.

He carefully got up, showered and made breakfast. He made pancakes, which was Elio’s favorite and left a plate full on the kitchen counter, together with the Nutella and copious amount of lemon mint tea. Times like this he was especially grateful for Nanny Christy for teaching him how to cook and generally look after himself when he was sick, including the use of herbal teas for shooting the nerves, mild colds, and tummy aches. He could use it all on Elio, who was such a grateful little patient.

One would think that growing up in a well-off family with housekeepers like Mafalda, Elio would find it natural that he was taken care of by others. It was not the case. Although he was often bratty and a smartass, Elio did not like to feel useless, and whenever Oliver was cooking, he would chop vegetables, wash dishes or just sit on the top of the kitchen counter, legs dangling and watched Oliver’s every move, chat away, lick the bowls and generally entertained him while he was preparing the meal. He received everything that Oliver did for him with gratitude and rushed to return it in various ways.

At the beginning of their cohabitation, this behavior of Elio’s almost moved Oliver to tears a couple of times. It was very different from what he used to from Katie, who hated when Oliver cooked and deemed it unmanly and unworthy of high-class people. When they lived together, they had housekeepers and a chef, and whenever Oliver offered one of his teas for her, she scoffed in disgust. She also never made even a toast for Oliver, although most likely she didn’t know how anyway. “ _Just don’t go there_ ” Oliver reminded himself. It was all over now thank God.

Oliver left for work but was anxious all day to return to Elio. He worked on the syllabus for next term, participated at the meeting, did the necessary administration then headed back home.

He wanted to go to the shops to buy gifts for Elio, but he had to skip that for now. Hanukkah was starting in two days, and he planned to leave small surprise gifts for Elio every day. He already ordered his main present and couldn’t wait to see his baby’s face when he sees it.

This year Hanukkah overlapped with Christmas, and although they did not celebrate the latter, Sarah and Joanna invited them for dinner on Christmas Eve. The girls called the event the celebration of their chosen family and invited all of their friends who couldn’t travel home for the holidays regardless of religion. Brisket and latkes were added to the already multicultural menu. Oliver would help to cook them, and Elio offered to make Mafalda’s magical apple cake. Oliver was sure that this would be the most beautiful Hanukkah/Christmas dinner of his life.

Elio was adorably excited. He loved the Christmas lights and all the decorations, loved the songs and the food and talked about the whole thing with a child-like enthusiasm and insisted on going to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, and having hot chocolate at all the usual holiday sightseeing spots, which they yet to do.

When Oliver got home, he found the flat empty, food untouched. He was very close to starting to panic when he found a note from Elio near the phone:

 

**_Hi Oliver,_ **

**_Poor Mrs. McLachlan hurt her leg, and she asked me to take Poochie for a walk. We will be in the park two blocks down._ **

**_Love, Elio._ **

**_P.S: please don’t worry, I feel much better today._ **

 

“ _Hurt her leg my ass!_ ” Oliver thought. He bet that the old lady just did not want to go out in the current weather. Over the night it started snowing heavily, turning the entire city into a Hallmark Christmas card. It was very cold outside so no doubt that Mrs. McLachlan played one of her cards to get Elio to walk the rat for her.

Oliver was fuming and wanted nothing more than to head out and find his little goose, but he had to do something which was best done while Elio was out, otherwise, he would be sure to object. Oliver picked up the phone and dialed the first on their list of important numbers. The phone rang a couple of times then it was picked up.

“Pronto,” Said the smooth woman voice he knew and loved so well.

“Annella, it’s Oliver,” He said.

“Oliver! How wonderful to hear from you! Wait, I will call Sammy” Annella exclaimed in delight, and Oliver could hear her speaking in Italian, and the next minute the Professor spoke.

“Oliver! How are my boys?” Came the warm greeting, and Oliver found himself smiling widely. He loved these people, and he was sure that they would help. He just had to be honest.

“Well...I want to say that everything is all right...but” He said and he sounded a bit lost even to himself.

“Oliver, what is the matter? Is Elio alright?” Annella said with slight alarm, and Oliver rushed to reassure her.

“Please don’t worry, there is nothing very serious going on at the moment...it is just...I need your advice, and probably if I am completely honest, Elio would need your presence.”

“Okay, Oliver” He heard the Professor “Start at the beginning, please."

So he did. He told them about the letters Elio was receiving, his problems with his incredibly low self-esteem, the headaches, and the meltdowns, and how the whole thing escalated last night. He left out Elio’s problems with his parents, that was something that they would have to sort out between themselves.

“Oh...my silly little bambino, keeping something like that and making himself ill,” Annella said.

“Oliver, how do you feel about all this?” The Professor asked. Oliver sighed.

“I am very worried about the letters. I will talk to my lawyer who I am sure will advise me how to go about it. But I am afraid that I made things worse for Elio by forcing him to speak up.”

“No, Oliver, it was the right thing to do. Elio was always secretive. We respected that, but it is not always healthy.”

“But he was so sick last night; I am afraid that I did more damage than good” Oliver answered.

“Oh tesoro, do not worry too much. The mind can make the body ill. When the mind relaxes and is in peace after a long period of stress, the body allows itself to give into exhaustion.” Annella said. “It might be scary, but it is the first step towards healing. Just make sure that Elio doesn’t push himself and rests a lot.”

“I have a suspicion that there is something else bothering him regarding us,” The Professor said, and suddenly Oliver did not know what to say.

“I...I think you will have to talk to him about it.”

“Is he ready to talk now?” The Pro asked gently.

“Yes...yes, I think so.”

“Thank God,” The Professor said, and Oliver heard Annella sigh in relief as well. “We have been waiting for this for a long time.”

“Indeed,” Annella said “Tesoro, what do you think of us coming to visit earlier? We said new years, but we will be in the States from the 26th of December.“ She said.

“I think it would be good for Elio to have you here and of course for me too, but didn’t you make plans with your friends?” Oliver asked.

“Nonsense, Oliver there can be nothing more important than our boys,” Annella said with the Professor agreeing. Oliver felt his heart squeeze.

“Thank you, thank you so much. We would love to have you as soon as possible” He said to them, and his voice turned emotional.

“Alright tesoro, we will call you when we sorted out the details.”

They exchanged a couple of words then said their goodbyes. When Oliver put down the receiver, he felt more reassured than for a long time. So this was how it felt like to talk to parents who loved and supported you.

Oliver headed towards the park. The snow stopped, and it was sunny but cold outside. When he reached the gates of the park, he spotted Elio immediately; he was the only person around which was not surprising considering Poochie’s ominous presence.

As several times before when he watched Elio from afar, Oliver was struck by the feeling that the boy did not belong to this century and definitely did not belong to New York. He thrived in the ancient cities and beautiful landscape of his homeland, the sparkling water surface, the sunflower and poppy fields, Italian countryside, capricious Roman streets, Parisian bistros, and bars, flooding the night with Jazz. Places where old and new flow into each other, echoing the sounds and emotions of the centuries just for Elio to hear and feel them, and transform them into music for all humans to enjoy. His natural curiosity made him to like New York, but Oliver wondered if or rather when the time comes for them to move. He would not mind at all; he would be up for all kind of adventures with his little goose.

Elio was playing ball with Poochie, but apparently, they were taking a break until Poochie satisfied his bloodlust and viciously mauled his stuffed Ducky Duck toy. Oliver approached cautiously. Elio noticed him and smiled.

“Hi,” The boy said a somewhat shy and Oliver found him adorable.

“Hi baby,” Oliver said and examined his face. He was pale apart from his red nose, and he had dark circles under his eyes. “How do you feel?”

“I am better. I slept until late.”

“Good. How much longer are you airing the mop?”

“Oliver!” Elio exclaimed but laughed none of the less. It sounded beautiful. “Don’t call him that — poor puppy.

The poor puppy just severed Ducky’s head.

“Oh, shoot...that was a new toy. Poochie, come back here boy!” Elio shouted to the crazed dog.

The pup started to run towards them, or rather Elio and jumped into his arms and licked his face. Then he looked at Oliver, barred his canines and growled.

“Yeah fuck you too, Poochie.” Oliver said making Elio laugh again.

“You should be more patient with him,” He said to Oliver as he patted the dog. “He is really not that bad; wanna hold his lead?”

“I am good, thanks baby,”

“Okay, we should go now, we have been here for an hour, I don’t want him to catch a cold,” Elio said and led Poochie out of the park.

They started to walk back to their apartment, Elio walking safely between Oliver and Poochie.

“I talked to your parents today. I told them about the letters” Oliver said quietly.

“What!...why?”

“They are your parents, they should know if you have problems, and I knew you would not tell them.“

“But they will be worried...and it is almost Hanukkah, it will spoil it for them...”

“No, it won’t. They will come earlier; they are happy to spend more time with us” Oliver answered and glanced at Elio’s face. The boy looked kind of devastated and worried.

Oliver stopped and turned Elio towards him.

“Elio stop worrying, please. You dealt with all this alone so far, now let us help you, we are your family. What if this would happen the other way around? Or your parents would have troubles. You would be angry If we didn’t ask for your help right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Elio said quietly.

“Well then, try to relax, and rely on us goose. And the sooner you have a chat with them the sooner you can return to your old relationship. I know that you really miss them.”

“Yes...I miss them very much.”

“Well then, I will talk to my lawyer about the letters and what to do about them. We will make that idiot to mind their own fucking business. Then we will have an amazing dinner with Sarah and Joanna and their friends. Your parents are arriving around the 26th; we will celebrate with them. I am sure your mum will cook up a storm for the last day of Hanukkah. We can do something fun for New Year's Eve. It will be perfect.” Oliver finished smiling and looked at Elio who now had a much more hopeful expression on his face.

“It sounds lovely...thank you, Oliver.”

“Nothing to thank me for, baby,” Oliver said and started walking again. “Come on, let’s go for hot chocolates. Which reminds me, what is your schedule in the cafe?”

“I will work again from tomorrow,” Elio answered.

“Are you sure? You could rest a bit more and...”

“No, it’s okay...I like to be there, and Mona will help me rehearse the apple cake.”

“Rehearse the apple cake...alright, sure,” Oliver said laughing and suddenly stopped “Wait for a second...isn’t it time for your Christmas theme...”

“NO! It is not! Forget about it, Oliver! Forget about right now!” Elio said loudly and stomped away, Oliver right at his heels.

“Oh no can do, sorry; I will not be missing out on you being the shop’s Christmas mascot Elio! Not in a million years!” He said laughing his ass off.

He remembered one afternoon Elio storming into the flat huffing and puffing and dramatically threw himself on the sofa angrily shouting about electoral fraud and conspiracy. It took quite a couple of minutes for Oliver to pull the reasons out of Elio. It turned out that the cafe staff voted and chose Elio as their Christmas mascot. Apparently, it was a very clear win, but Elio was rather unwilling.

“Come on tell me what you are going to dress up for,” Oliver asked him laughing. He teased Elio endlessly about the whole stuff.

“Not telling! You are being mean!” Elio said pouting.

“Oh come on, don’t be angry, it will be fun.”

“It’s easy for you to say”

“You will be adorable; I can’t wait to see you.”

“Don’t come!”

“Oh I will, I will be sitting there all afternoon, taking pictures.”

“Arghh!!!” Elio walked away angrily.

Oliver was pleased to see that his little pufferfish was not depressed anymore.

“Hey, Elio! Wanna go to the Rockefeller Center now? If we take Poochie, we can have the whole place to ourselves.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading the chapter.  
> Please let me know what you think about it :) <3


	8. From a nightmare into Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the conversation from Elio's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter :)  
> I am very grateful for the encouragement, you are amazing, and I am so happy that you are still with me :)  
> Hope you will enjoy the chapter xx

Elio felt very weird, and not on the good side of weird. Weird, when you don’t know whether you are awake or still sleeping, don’t know which way is up or down, and someone hacking up firewood behind your right eye. Just like after a big night out, waking up with a well-earned hangover. However while in that case there is a strange sense of pride and accomplishment alongside the physical suffering, knowing that last night you _lived_ , this time he only felt tired. Tired like never before and he wasn’t sure whether he would ever gather the strength to get out of bed, and he wasn’t sure he even wanted to. Sleeping for a long-long time seemed like the best idea at the moment.

Then he remembered the dreams from last night, and suddenly he hoped that he would never fall asleep or dream ever again. His dreams were often intense, appeared with blurred outlines and vivid colours, but generally, he liked them. This time, they were terrifying and disturbing. In one dream, he was drifting in the middle of the sea, at night, the water was black and unknown bodies circled him. In another dream, people were hurting Oliver and his parents, and they were screaming for him, and there were many more similarly painful.

Elio wanted to cry, but he was too tired for that too. He reached out for Oliver, but only found cold sheets. With a tremendous effort, he opened his eyes. The bed was empty, and the flat was quiet. What if there was no Oliver? What if his dream of him disappearing was the actual truth? He bolted out of bed suddenly terrified; he needed something that linked him to reality. He went to the living room; no sign of Oliver either. Where is he?

“Oliver? Oliver?” He heard his own terrified voice as he walked around the empty flat. When finally reached the kitchen and saw the pancakes, Nutella and tea he felt such a relief that he actually cried.

 _Get a fucking grip, Perlman!_ He said to himself. This was ridiculous. Oliver went to work because it was fucking Monday, and he will be back in a couple of hours. And he felt so shit because they had the mother of all revealing conversations yesterday and his brain was trying to process all that shit last night. Well it supposed to help, but he sure didn’t feel the benefits, it was more like being run over by a truck. But probably this was for the best.

He checked the time; it was 10 am. Alright, time for a shower then he would head out and spend time among people. It seemed that his own head was the last place he should be at the moment. He wished he could hang out with Chris and Shannon, but they both already left for the holidays. Well, he still had the cafe. Although it was his workplace, he loved it there, and the staff members were his close friends. Well of course apart from their betrayal last month with that damn Christmas mascot thing. Elio was already everyone’s little baby brother there, and with that cutesy costume that they planned for him it would be all over for him as a respectable adult...it even had a fluffy tail for crying out loud. There is no fucking way he will let Oliver see him like that.

He headed to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. When he finished he shaved his peach fuzz and styled his hair sexy. He put on his beautiful dark green cashmere sweater, sent by his mum from Milan. His mum was always glamorous and had a great style, and she loved to dress Elio. This sweater was a great choice too; it was comfy and made his eyes crazy green. He put on tight dark jeans that made his ass look delicious and slipped on his Docs. He always thought that one of the best cures of frayed nerves is to look good. Even if everything else goes to shit that day, he achieved normality at least in one part of his life.

He gathered up his music sheets and walkman and headed to the cafe to do some transcription and to enjoy their excellent coffee.

He was pleasantly surprised by the lovely snowfall outside. He loved it and found himself smiling as he glanced around on the street which looked like a shaken snow globe. His spirit lifted when he thought about all the winter fun they planned with Oliver, not to mention the dinner with the girls. No matter how cliche it was, Christmas holidays were fun and wonderful.

When he reached the cafe, he saw Adam outside putting Christmas decorations on the window.

“Hey Adam,” He greeted his boss.

“Elio! What brings you here? Today is still your day off... and as I can see, you need it” He finished, looking at Elio’s face.

“I am bored of being home alone; I will work on my music here.” He said smiling.

“Sure, you are always welcome,“ Adam said smiling ”Now get inside. Mona is doing Yule log test runs, so I am sure you will be hooked in to judge them.”

“Thanks, Adam” Elio laughed and stepped inside and immediately greeted with the usual choir of “Hi Elio!-s” and the delicious aroma of coffee and cakes.

Elio spent several hours there, working or just looking out of the window as the snow was falling and people walked by. He felt weirdly restless and sometimes almost teared up for some reason. He had no idea what is going to happen next. Ignoring the letters although wasn’t ideal, it meant that at least he could forget about them for long hours and have fun with Oliver. Now, he was afraid that they would simply invade both of their lives; Oliver would always be worried; watching his every move and reactions and walking on eggshells around him. He was terrified that their normality would be over and it made him feel more helpless and depressed than ever.

Late afternoon he decided to head home as Oliver would be finishing work soon and Elio couldn’t wait to see him. He said goodbye to everyone and confirmed that he would take up his shift, as usual, the next day.

He was opening their front door when out of nowhere Mrs McLachlan appeared behind him, scaring the shit out of the boy.

“Elio, dear how are you?” asked the old lady.

“I am great Mrs McLachlan, thank you,” Elio answered, clutching his chest.

“It sure is nice to be young,” Mrs McLachlan said wistfully.

“Oh Mrs McLachlan you are so youthful,” Elio said flashing one of his smiles he usually used on female cafe guests, aged over fifty. It clearly worked as the old lady chuckled and probably blushed although it was hard to tell under the several layers of make-up.

“Oh no, sweetheart, I will be dead soon.”

“umm....” Elio started eloquently, but thankfully Mrs McLachlan interrupted.

“Yes-yes it is terrible to be old, and of course this leg is misbehaving, and my darling baby Poochie needs a walk, and I don’t even know what to do...” She said with that hopeful expression on her face that old ladies usually used to guilt trip and manipulate the rest of society.

“Oh I can take him, Mrs McLachlan; it is not a problem at all.”

“Oh would you really, darling? That would be wonderful!” Said the old lady delighted. “Thank you, dear, such a good boy you are. I will go and prepare my baby.” She said and hurried back to her flat while Elio left a note for Oliver.

Elio was leading Poochie towards the park and noticed how people would instinctively avoid the dog or point and laugh at him. Poor Poochie. Elio felt sorry for the tiny pup. Yes, he was ugly as fuck, but he was still just a small dog needing to be looked after and loved. Elio wondered if Poochie’s lunatic behaviour was the result of the way everyone treated him. If you are treated like a monster, maybe eventually you turn into one. He bent down and picked up the pup and hugged him to his chest. The puppy whined a little and buried his head into his arms, so Elio held him there until they reached the park.

Later Oliver arrived, and although he teased him endlessly about the Christmas mascot thing, they had an incredibly fun night.

They went to the Rockefeller Center, although they took Poochie home beforehand. The weather was cold, but the snow made everything sparkly, and together with the myriad of Christmas lights, everything looked magical. They were drinking mulled wine while watching the skaters having fun on the ice.

“Looks fun, but it is too crowded,” Elio said

“Do you like skating?”

“Yes, I went a lot at home with my friends. You?” He asked Oliver.

“Yeah, at home I had a skating spot. I went there alone a lot, even at night when the moon was bright enough. It was a frozen river, and you could skate for miles. It was a frozen wonderland at night; everything was white and silver.” Oliver answered, and Elio saw that the smile on his face was somewhat sad.

“Wow...that sounds amazing. But why alone?”

“To think” Oliver answered and smiled at Elio.

“Like your rock at the beach?”

“Something like that, yes, but also different.”

“How so?” Elio asked as he looked at Oliver’s profile. He was so unbearably handsome with his golden-brown hair and all the lights around which made his blue eyes incredibly sparkly that Elio had to remind himself to close his mouth and not to stare that much.

“Back at home, whenever I went out there, I pretended that I was somewhere else and dreamt about the future I wanted to myself but possibly would never get. But that summer, on that rock, I was exactly where I wanted to be, and my dream came true...he was sleeping back in that small room in the house.” He said and smiled at Elio who blushed and also smiled. “Later I often thought about those nights on the rock...that how I knew something with complete certainty and still let it slip through my fingers. No wonder the universe punished me for it.” He said with a self-deprecating smile.

Elio bumped his head against his shoulder.

“Well, good thing that you paid the penance and you are back where the universe meant you to be.” He said to Oliver. “Let’s not dwell on the past. There is a psychopath on the loose coming after us, so we have enough on our hands.” Elio said grinning.

“Idiot...that is not funny,” Oliver said but couldn’t help but laugh as Elio pulled him towards the stands.

“Come on Mr Millionaire, buy me more mulled wine, and I want one of those pretzels too!”

They ended up having many more cups of mulled wine and roamed the sparkly streets for hours to get home, visiting several bars and pubs on the way to listen to live music and to drink as many types of hot Toddy as they could find. Elio felt happy, warm and drunk as they walked through the snowy streets and laughed at everything they said or saw. It was late and with hardly anyone sober around who would have paid attention to them, they held hands and even kissed on a dark corner. That kiss flicked the switch, and they could hardly keep their hands off of each other until they reached their door.

Elio was fiddling with the key, trying to fit it into the lock giggling, all the while Oliver was pressed against his back, biting his neck, hands all over him.

“Come on come on come oooon!!!” Oliver whined impatiently as he pressed his bulging crotch against Elio’s bottom and making him moan.

When the door finally opened Oliver pushed him inside and immediately pressed him up against the wall. Elio instinctively put his leg around his waist.

“Fuck! I wanted this all evening. You are too beautiful, Elio” He said, already pulling off the boy’s jacket and sweater to lick his bare chest.

“ ’m nah... “ Elio mumbled; the erupting heat from Oliver was rendering him incoherent.

“You think you are not hm? Oliver said on a dark tone. “Do you have any idea how people look at you?” He asked on an almost angry voice, lips hovering over Elio’s nipple, first giving it a flick with his tongue then sucking on it hungrily, and at the same time tilting his waist and pressing their still clad erections together. It was so intense that Elio felt himself sob; it was almost too much and very little at the same time, and he needed more, or he would go insane with want.

“They look at you with hunger...they want to touch you, and you don’t even notice it” Oliver continued with his crazy talk, he was far gone too.

Elio felt himself carried, hands on his bare back and the next second he was laying on the living room sofa, Oliver all over him, looking golden in the soft yellow light of the bedside lamp.

What followed next was a whirlwind of sensations as Oliver practically ripped off all of their clothes; his naked body against Elio’s was nothing short of Heaven; the hairy chest scratched his nipples, and he felt the sculpted abdomen against his tummy. Oliver’s strong hands spread his legs wide, placing one on the back of the sofa, leaving Elio completely exposed as he kneeled between his thighs. Elio felt his eyes roll back as Oliver took him into his hot wet mouth and at the same time pushed a finger inside him. This was too much; he can’t handle this. He sunk his fingers into Oliver's hair and tugged on it and it seemed to spur on the other man. Elio arched his back and moaned and whined for god knows how long when the fingers and the lips left his body, and he felt Oliver looming over him.

“Look at me” Elio heard the hoarse voice, and looked up. Oliver was completely undone, pupils blown, sweat trickling down his beautiful face. “I want you to look at me as I take you,” He said and pushed into Elio with one long move, and they both cried out. “You are mine...” He panted “No one can take you from me,” He said with a pained expression.

“No one will” Elio breathed, looking into the blue eyes. “I am yours so take me Oliver; I want you to come inside me.”

That was it. Oliver let himself go, thrusting into Elio’s pliant body again and again while the boy clutched his bottom, trying to pull him deeper. It was hot, insane and messy and when they finally came it was like wildfire; their orgasms left them panting and shaking against each other. 

Elio held Oliver's trembling body against him while the other man caressed his face.

 That small sofa, illuminated by the golden glow of the small lamp in the middle of the dark apartment, was their own Heaven... and it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Blush)  
> Thank you for reading the chapter; I would be grateful for your feedback and advice :)


	9. Introducing Elio, the Christmas Mascot of Cafe Vagabond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver takes the first step to solve the hate mail problem + Elio is being generally cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny chapter, because I couldn't wait.  
> Hope you will enjoy it  
> As always, thank you very much for the comments, and kudos :)

Oliver was woken up by a big sneeze coming from somewhere above his head. He felt warm and everything smelt like Elio, even his pillow; it was also silky smooth, and it was moving... _What?_ He was confused for a minute then the events of last night slowly started to fill his morning brain. He opened his eyes and immediately winced when the hangover symptoms attacked his body from all directions.

Elio and he were still sprawling on the living room sofa, their naked body completely entangled. He was half lying on poor Elio; his head was resting on the narrow chest. The boy was still sleeping his arms resting around Oliver’s back and shoulder, one hand still softly clutching his hair. He looked so cute with his pouty mouth slightly open. His curls were all over the place, and he was adorably scrunching his nose in his sleep as a stray lock was tickling it. Oliver reached up and brushed it away; he wanted to kiss and cuddle him all day.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t. He checked his watch; it was 7 am, and he had to go to work. " _Let’s forego the usual run this morning"_ Oliver thought. What a fucking brilliant idea was to do a pub crawl on a Monday night. He didn’t regret it though; it was a lot of fun, and their lovemaking was as amazing as always; he just couldn’t get enough of it.

He carefully got up and tried not to groan too loud. Sleeping on the sofa was a stupid idea. He stretched then picked up Elio and transferred him into their bed. The boy did not even stir which was a good sign. He tucked him in then went to make himself ready for work.

He left the usual pancakes, Nutella and coffee breakfast meal for Elio then headed to the university. The campus was too quiet without the students; although he had to admit, it was nice after the end of term rush. Most of the staff members were already off for their holidays, but young academics without families were roped in to hold down the fort. There were some frantic late graders spreading hysteria among themselves as they were desperately trying to finish and submit the marked exam papers by the deadline, but apart from that, work was quite relaxed.

Oliver used his morning to work on his next book, and made good progress, despite his wandering thoughts. He had a phone meeting with his lawyer at 2 pm, and he couldn’t help but be slightly anxious about it. Harassment is a crime, but it is another question whether anyone took it seriously when it happened to a young boy in a same-sex relationship. It was lucky that Elio had dual citizenship as his father was American; otherwise Oliver wouldn’t even consider taking the official route. And in the current climate too... AIDS was taking its numerous victims every day, and many of the so-called "normal" and "respectable" citizens were not late putting blames, asking for sanctions and calling this terrible disease to “God’s punishment for those who stray from the correct path”. Oliver was nauseous just to think about those people; they were exactly like his family and Katie; once she even... _”No! Don’t go there!”_ He reminded himself strictly. He glanced at his watch, and it was time to make the call.

His lawyer, Ms Elisa Barron was an amazing and terrifying woman. He inherited her from Aunty Eleanor, and she did a great job to sort out all kind of legal matters that came with big wealth and also in scaring away his “family” when they tried to; with her words, “stir the shit” a couple of times. Oliver was certain that she would give him honest advice and plan of action without unnecessary “word-wanking” – also her words.

The phone rang a couple of times, then Elisa’s hyperactive assistant connected him to the lawyer herself.

“Oliver, my boy; how are you? How is my little sweet-cheeks Elio?” Oliver heard the strong, no-nonsense kind of voice, and he smiled. He really liked Elisa. She was fierce, irreverent and kind.

“Hello Elisa, we are very well, thank you” He answered.

“You are lying.”

“Pardon?”

“Oh come on boy, no one calls their lawyer to wish them Merry Christmas so spill; what is going on?”

So Oliver did spill. He told every detail he heard from Elio, and Elisa did not interrupt until he finished. There was a couple of second silence in the phone, then a big sigh.

“What an absolute turd,” She said finally.

“Indeed”

“How is Elio?”

Oliver sighed.

“He is keeping up well, but I think he is deeply unsettled. He does not seem to be afraid though. He said that if this person wanted to harm him physically, they would have already done it.”

“There is some logic there, but he cannot be sure. Silly boy, he should have told you.”

“I know, but it is what it is now. So what do you think Elisa?”

“It will be hard to get anything done; you will need to collect more letters obviously since all of them were destroyed. Another question whether you and Elio actually want to do anything officially.”

“What do you mean?”

“You might be outed, sooner or later during the process but it is very possible. You have to think about whether you can deal with that as a university professor. Elio also has to think about it; he is just starting his career soon.”

Oliver was silent. He did not really think about this before. What a fucked up world; to tackle a hate crime they have to risk their careers?

“Oliver, don’t stress about it now, just have a think. It is a long way ahead when we have to deal with that. I will talk to a couple of people about this. Obviously, no names involved. Probably not until Christmas is over though.

“I..okay..alright,” Oliver said finally, somewhat disappointed.

“Cheer up kiddo, we will sort out something ...there are always other ways than the official” Elisa added with a rather ominous chuckle, and Oliver shuddered.

“Well, I...”

“No, you don’t need to say anything, Oliver. Eleanor was my mentor and one of my best friends for twenty years and I will look after her boy without fail. You go and have a fun holiday with that little cutie, and I will call you when I know more.” And with that, Elisa ended the call.

“..Merry Christmas...” Oliver said to the dial tone then put down the receiver.

He leaned back in his office chair and looked out of the window. Well, this was certainly not what he imagined, but he had faith that Elisa knew what she was doing. At least he took the first step to solve the issue. She was amazing. Oliver thought of Elio’s parents. They were impossibly kind, but he also remembered Annella’s fierce, witty intellect and confidence, and Pro’s strong presence and quiet authority. In a way, they were just as intimidating as Elisa. Probably they would get along brilliantly, and suddenly Oliver really wanted to see Elisa at one of the dinner drudgeries. It would be truly intriguing. Oliver smiled at the thought. Well, come what may, he and Elio were not alone, and this realisation allowed him to relax finally.

The rest of the day he managed to make great progress on his book, and when finally 5 o’clock came around, Oliver practically flew out of his office and through the campus towards Elio’s cafe.

Today was the day; Elio would be dressed up as the mascot. Despite the hangover that morning Oliver didn’t forget to pack his camera, and couldn’t wait to snap pictures of Elio. He was sure that Annella and Pro would love to see them, and it was also a payback for the compromising photos Elio took of him and the pasta Napolitan. He remembered that shit-eating grin on Elio’s face every time he blackmailed Oliver; that grin will be wiped off for good today.

He rushed towards the underground; he couldn’t wait to see _Elio-Christmas Edition_. After what felt like hours, he finally reached the cafe and rushed inside and... _Oh, holy shit!_ ...there he was. Oliver thought he was going to melt into the fucking doormat. Elio was standing behind the counter, smiling sweetly at the customers who were taking pictures with him. He was dressed up as a little reindeer, with tiny fluffy ears and cute little antlers, and someone put blush on the tip of his nose so it was pink. He looked simply adorable.

Oliver approached the counter with a huge grin on his face. When Elio noticed him his face turned beet red. He looked kinda pissed off; apparently, he was not very happy about his outfit. The other staff members greatly enjoyed the situation, obviously trying to hold back the general hilarity over the huge contrast between Elio’s cute costume and badly suppressed internal rage. When Oliver reached him, Elio looked up at him with a defiant expression.

“I swear to god Oliver, if you dare to laugh I will stab you.”

“You can’t baby; your antlers are too tiny.”

The other staff members burst out laughing while his little reindeer had murder in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to show you tiny reindeer Elio, that is why this chapter is so short. He will be back later too :)  
> I hope you liked it. :)
> 
> About Chapter 8: I was really tired when I posted it, and when I checked it today, I found a lot of mistakes. I corrected them, and I hope it is more enjoyable now, sorry :/
> 
> Please let me know what you think :) xx


	10. The best I have ever known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys' preparation for the Christmas Eve dinner is interrupted, but they still have a lot of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, I wish you all very happy holidays! I hope you are having lots of fun :) If not, come to the comment section and let's talk about our sweethearts <3  
> Thank you very much for the kudos and lovely comments, you are the best! This is the 10th chapter, and it would have never gotten this far without the encouragement I have received from you :)  
> I hope you will enjoy the chapter; as always, sorry for any mistakes in grammar and style; English is not my first language, but I am trying hard :)  
> Also, I am very sorry If I wrote something incorrectly about Hanukkah. I read up on it but I am not familiar with the customs, so apologies if something is not right. Feel free to point it out, and I will correct it.

Oliver was in high spirits. It was close to 5 o’clock, and he was walking back from the library towards his office. It was Wednesday, his last day of work before his winter break. It was two days until their Christmas Eve dinner with the girls, which was excellent as they had a lot of cooking, baking and decorations to do. First time in his life, he was looking forward to the holidays. Last year was the first Christmas which he didn’t need to spend with his family and suffer through pretentious and cold parties and dinners. Instead, he spent it with his dear Aunty, but it was far from joyful without Uncle Leo around, and Aunty being sick. He wished so badly that both of them would be still with him to see how happy he was now, preparing to celebrate with his love, friends and new family. 

He stepped into his office and found Chloe organising one of the modules’ folder.

“Chloe, why are you still here? I am sure you have a lot of things to sort out at home, you should go...”

“Oh it is okay, I almost finished.” She replied.“Elio is here to pick you up; he is waiting outside.”

“Really? Why outside?” Oliver asked surprised.

“He said something about a snowman...” Chloe said distracted as she put the folder back in its place. "He is so thoughtful, he brought me a huge box of petit fours from his Cafe for Christmas.”

“Indeed, he is,” Oliver said smiling; it always warmed his heart when people said nice things about his Elio. He was such a wonderful person and deserved every compliment.

Chloe glanced at his face and laughed.

“Oh Oliver, you are so gone. Go to him; I will close the office. Have a lovely holiday."

“Thank you, Chloe,” Oliver said slightly blushing. God he is behaving like a teenage girl in love and not even ashamed. “Have a happy Christmas; give my regards to your family.”

They said their goodbyes and Oliver headed out to find Elio and his snowman. Oliver wondered what Elio is up to; he bet he was being adorable again. He grinned as he thought about last night. Sure as hell that he would be sitting in the Cafe for every one of Elio’s reindeer sessions. He had to laugh out loud when he thought about how pissed the boy was yesterday.

Oliver spent the entire evening at his usual corner table, snapping pictures of his little personal reindeer. Sometimes Elio turned towards him with a deathly glare, but Oliver could also see an embarrassed blush and a tiny smile on his face...he liked to be watched by him. The costumers loved him, and the Cafe was buzzing with activity. At some point, a little boy burst through the door, run up to Elio and shouted; “Rudolph! Rudolph!”; pointing at him. Oliver couldn’t remember laughing that hysterically ever before in his life.

Oliver reached the exit and stepped out into the cold. It was dark and started snowing again. He looked around the dark campus and discovered Elio not far from him, kneeling in the snow and working on something. A nearby lamppost illuminated the area around the boy, and suddenly Oliver felt uncomfortable seeing him like this; alone, surrounded by shadows; a clear target to anyone who might be lurking in the dark, wanting to hurt him. There was absolutely no one around to hear if he shouts. Oliver shuddered and forced himself to shake off the bad feeling. He approached Elio who looked behind when heard the crunching of the snow and smiled at Oliver. He had a large snowball near him and was working on another one.

Oliver bent down, and at the same time Elio reached up with the sweetest smile on his face. They hugged each other and Oliver planted a kiss on the silky curls.

“Hi baby” Oliver patted his head and wanted to straighten up but Elio wouldn’t let him, and Oliver felt cold lips on his face.

“I missed you,” the boy said.

 _“Oh, it is needy Elio today,_ ” Oliver thought. He loved needy Elio, he was adorable and wanted cuddles and to be spoiled all the time. It worked perfectly as Oliver’s favourite activity was spoiling him.

“I missed you too love; what are you doing?"

“I am making another snowman,” Elio replied somewhat embarrassed.

“Another?” Oliver looked around and indeed, a couple of feet away there was a snowman, no doubt the fine work of the university students. “Okay, I will help you.” He said and kneeled beside Elio and started working.

They were having a great time making the little snowman. When they finished all the body parts, Elio rolled the bottom near the other snowman, and they placed the other parts on it, found little pebbles for eyes and twigs for nose and arms. When Elio stuck the second arm in, he made it so it would touch the other snowman’s.

“There,” He said and looked satisfied with his achievement. “He is not alone anymore.”

“Oh baby,” Oliver said drew his boy into his arm. He was so adorable.

“I know it is silly,” said Elio shyly “But I felt sad looking at him, being all alone.”

“It ‘s okay,” Oliver said smiling. “We can come back and take a picture of them. I want to remember this evening.”

“Yes, I would love that,” Elio said and reached out to pat the snowman affectionately, and Oliver saw his hand shaking, no doubt from touching the snow for so long.

“Your hands must be freezing.”

“Yeah, a bit,” Elio admitted, rubbing his hands together.

“Then this would be useful,” Oliver said and pulled out a small packet from his pocket, with a small red bow on it. “Happy first day of Hanukkah, goose.”

Elio looked adorably excited as he opened the packet. He found a pair of knitted mittens inside. They were black with a white reindeer pattern on them. Elio put them on immediately and hugged Oliver.

“Thank you; they are so nice and warm. I have yours here too.” He said and opened his backpack to pull out a nicely wrapped box.

Oliver pulled off the wrapping paper and found a nice wooden box with hand painted motifs on it. It was varnished, so it looked smooth and elegant. It looked like something you could buy in fancy art shops, but the style of the drawings looked strangely familiar. Could it be?

“Elio, did you make this?” He asked, looking at the boy, but he couldn’t imagine how Elio would have possibly achieved something like this.

“Y-Yes...do you like it?”

“Are you kidding me? It is beautiful...but how?”

“Well...Anchise taught me one summer when I was about ten. I had a bad sunburn and couldn’t leave the house for days. Mafalda grounded me.” He said smiling. “My parents were away visiting relatives, so I was bored. Anchise was repairing a broken cupboard, and he gave me small wooden bits to play with. I copied what he was doing and ended up learning how to treat wooden things.” Elio explained. “For a while, I painted and varnished every available surface. I think Papa was a bit worried about my future during that period.”

“Wow, that is so cute,” Oliver said laughing.

“Yup...it lasted until I actually tried to paint the Steinway,” Elio said laughing, and Oliver joined in too. “That day, Maman and Papa took me to a sport’s store and bought me roller skates.”

“And how did that work out?”

“Great, I only broke one antique Herendi while skating in the hallway, so they considered the project successful. They also put away all valuables.” Elio said laughing.

“Little Elio, the tiny force of destruction,” Oliver said and couldn’t stop laughing.

When they finally stopped, he opened the lid of the box and inside he found eight beautifully decorated chocolate bonbons; one for each day of Hanukkah. They were larger than the ones you could buy in stores, and every one of them had a different, masterfully created intricate decoration. They smelled amazing too.

“Oh my god, these are amazing! Where did you get these from?” Oliver was sure that they were very expensive, probably coming from a luxury chocolatier.

“I made them,” Elio said shyly, and Oliver looked at him in astonishment.

“You what?”

“With Mona. I saw her practising them for her craftsmanship exam, so I did it with her. I made a batch for Maman and Papa too. I thought it would be a lovely present. These are not even close to Mona’s level, and she also helped me with them...but they taste pretty good.” Elio finished his explanation and was looking at the ground, drawing circles into the snow with his foot.

Oliver was speechless. He never received such a wonderful present. Only things that people assumed he would not dislike but clearly never spent more than five minutes thinking about it before buying them. He felt emotional thinking about how many hours Elio spent to create this beautiful present, and during those hours he was thinking of him, wanting to make him happy and surprised.

“I have never received a hand-made present before,” He said quietly.

“Never?” Elio asked as he stroked his face. “Surely you had your fair share of Secret Santa’s toilet roll pencil holders between kindergarten and middle school?” He said, and that made Oliver laugh again. He loved it when Elio sensed his emotional state, and suddenly he became the protector, trying to make Oliver feel better.

“I did; I still remember the one from Alexis Morrison; it was a Santa Claus with glitter hearts on it. It looked like a perverted Christmas costume advert.” He said, and both of them laughed.

“I bet she had a crush on you,” Elio said.

“Well, she may or may not have asked me to meet her behind the sandpits during elevenses’ break.”

“Oh, and what happened?”

“A gentleman never tells,” Oliver said and pulled Elio in his arms. “Thank you, Elio. These are beautiful. You put so much effort and thought into it. This is the second best present I have ever received in my entire life.

“Second?” Elio asked.

“The first place always be the Armance. It is the physical proof and reminder of your confession and feelings that summer. For me, nothing can beat that.” Oliver said and drew the boy in for a kiss. “I love you."

“I love you too, Oliver. Happy Hanukkah!“ Elio said smiling.

“Let’s go home, goose.”

They headed home holding hands, walking in the snowfall.

* * *

 

 

Oliver was woken up by kisses. Kisses around his shoulder blades and down his back. He could feel the warm wet lips travelling further down, towards his waist and silky hair brushing against his skin. He was already hard. He felt a warm, soft tongue following the line of his spine further and further down until...Oliver moaned loudly. He was melting.

The sensation of warm breath and wetness reaching the deepest depths of his body was driving him crazy. Soon he begged for more, and his wish was granted as he felt throbbing hotness against the sensitive skin of his rim, followed by the wonderful sensation of intrusion and being filled out completely. He tilted his waist for more connection. He could have come at the first thrust.

Moans and panting, flesh slapping on flesh and the rhythmic creaking of the bed; the sounds of their lovemaking together with the hard, steady pounding completely overloaded his senses until he was a mess without any coherent thoughts.

He reached out to grab the headboard of the bed, to find some grounding in the insane rhythm, but at that moment his sweet spot was hit and he cried out in ecstasy. More thrust followed the first at the same place, and they left him completely breathless, sweaty and begging for release. He felt a warm grip on his erection that started stroking him in the same time with the pounding and in the next second everything exploded. He heard another ecstatic cry and felt a slender body falling onto his. _“Elio, my love_ ”.

They were a panting sweaty mess tangled together on their bed, and for quite a couple of minutes, they were just laying there, enjoying the post-coital bliss.

“Happy Winter Break” Elio spoke finally, still lounging on Oliver’s back.

“It sure was an excellent start” He answered and at the same time his stomach growled which made Elio laugh.

“I am going to make breakfast.” He said and jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

 _“How the hell this little shrimp has so much energy?”_ Oliver thought. Falling back to sleep was rather tempting, but they had a lot of things to sort out, including cleaning, doing laundry, go to the market and get everything ready by tomorrow’s dinner. Since Elio’s parents were arriving on the 26th, they had to make sure to stock up on everything so they can offer a nice meal to them. They will be staying in a fancy hotel; ten minutes walk from the apartment which was ideal. Although the flat had a guest room, Annella and Pro were going to stay in New York for several days, and they preferred to have their privacy and freedom to come and go, as they had to visit other friends and sort out business matters as well. They also said that the young couple should be left alone in their nest, making Oliver blush. Elio did not speak to them since Oliver called them, and he could tell that the boy was anxious about the upcoming conversation with his parents.

Oliver heard music and loud clinking from the kitchen; the telltale sign of Elio making breakfast. It was time for him to get up as well. He went to take a shower, washed his hair and shaved. Thank god it was winter break, he really could use some rest. He dressed and headed to the kitchen. He could hear Poochie going into hysterics in the apartment two floors down.

As he crossed the living room, he saw Elio standing at the entrance, facing the door. He was completely still, head bent down, looking at something.

“Elio?”

There was no answer; the boy was still completely motionless. Somehow It looked creepy and Oliver shuddered.

“Elio? baby?” Oliver asked again taking a step towards him.

Elio slowly turned his face towards him, and Oliver gasped. He was pale, and blood was gushing out of his nose, already soaking his T-shirt. Oliver rushed towards him. 

"Shit, Elio!”

He pulled the hem of the spoiled T-shirt upwards and pressed onto the boy’s nose; it was a goner anyway. Only then he noticed that he was clutching a white paper in his hand.

“Elio, is that a...”

“He was here...” the boy said in a faint voice.

“What?”

“He was here at the door...I could hear him...He chuckled...he knew I was standing here...”

Oliver felt chills; suddenly he had goosebumps all over his arms. The next second he ran towards the door.

“No Oliver! Please don’t go!” Elio shouted in distress, but Oliver did not stop.

If he had a chance to catch that sick asshole, he would take it. Ignoring Elio’s pleas, he went outside and run down the stairs. He looked around, he even went out to the street, but it was busy with the locals going after their business before Christmas. There was no chance telling who could be the person who just left the house. Poochie was going frantic, and a realisation hit Oliver; _“Holy shit!_ _The dog heard him too!”_.

He rushed to Mrs McLachlan’s door and rang the bell. Meanwhile, he was worried that Poochie might get a stroke. The door opened, and the old lady stepped outside closing the door.

“Oliver, darling, how are you?”

“I am great Mrs McLachlan. Any chance that you saw the person who just left a couple of minutes ago?”

“Oh no darling but he was a stranger that is for sure,” she said.

“How do you know that and that he was a man?” He asked.

“Oh, from Poochie’s bark. He sounds different when someone he doesn’t know comes in. And I know he was a man because of the sound of his footsteps.” Replied the old lady confidently.

Wow ... Mrs McLachlan was a real guard dog herself.

She searched Oliver’s face for a couple of seconds then spoke again.

“The company in charge of the replacement of the front door lock promised it to be done after Christmas. I will call them and ask to get it done today.”

“Please do that Mrs McLachlan,” Oliver said.

“Alright darling, now go back to dear Elio.”

It was surprising, but it seemed to Oliver that Mrs McLachlan was much sharper than she let on.

Oliver rushed back to their apartment and found Elio outside, clutching the railing, nose still bleeding, eyes wide and he was deathly pale. Oliver could see that he was shaking and can hardly stand.

“Elio, baby” He started to speak gently “He is gone, everything is okay now. The lock on the front door will be fixed today; no stranger will be able to come in” He said to the boy to calm him down.

Elio nodded but said nothing. Oliver put an arm around him and helped him inside, shutting and locking the door behind them. He took Elio to the bathroom and made him sit on the toilet while he pressed a cold towel to his nose and face. Oliver saw that he still holding the letter in his hand. He gently unfolded the delicate fingers and read the words.

**“ENJOY YOUR LAST CHRISTMAS LITTLE FAGGOT”**

He glanced at Elio; the boy was looking down at his hand with a blank expression, it seemed that he completely retreated into himself. Oliver felt an enormous rage inside of him. His beautiful, kind and loving Elio is targeted by this terrible person. He felt sick to his stomach. How anyone who knew Elio could do this to him? How could anyone do this to another human being? That person was mentally unstable, and now Oliver was sure that he was dangerous too. He wanted to call the police, but he had no more to say than before. He had no description of the person...nothing. They also would have to explain their living situation. Elisa was right, it would be very difficult. He would call her soon to make things speed up. This was no joke anymore.

He cleaned up Elio and led him to the living room sofa and set down with him.

“How do you feel, baby?” He asked the boy.

“I am better. Sorry for freaking out.”

“Don’t say sorry; it was scary.”

“At least we know that he is a man.” The boy said.

He indeed looked better; the colour started to return to his face...in fact, it became quite red all of a sudden.

“That fucking asshole!!!” He burst out suddenly, making Oliver jump. “Trying to ruin our holiday; the fucking piece of shit!!!”

Oliver looked at him dumbfounded.

“What is it?” Elio asked.

“You are amazing...” Oliver said. “Most people would be terrified.”

“I’m not going to lie; it unsettles me. But being afraid is what this kind of sick bastards want.” Elio said angrily. “But he is human. Not a ghost or a demon or god knows. If I kick him in the balls, he will fucking keel over, Oliver. I’m not going let him terrorise me. I decided this at the beginning. Nothing has changed.”

Elio stood up.

“Come on Oliver; I made ham and cheese toasts for breakfast.” Said over his shoulder and marched towards the kitchen.

For some reason, Oliver felt emotional looking after him. “ _You are the best person I have ever known. I love you._ ”

 

The day was spent in a fury of activity. After they finished with the housework, they headed to the farmers market to pick up all the food they needed. They bought so much that they packed full both of their backpacks and still carried several bags in their hands. When they finally got home and collapsed on their sofa, Elio received his second present. It was a big red heart-shaped lollipop. He started licking it straight away, and it was so sinful that Oliver wanted to jump him then and there. Unfortunately, he couldn’t as they had to present themselves at Sarah’s and Joanna’s flat to help out with the decorations for tomorrow’s dinner.

The girls lived one floor below them in a smaller apartment. Sarah and Joanna were cheerful as always. As soon as they stepped in, Elio rushed to check their tropical fish tank. He brought his lollipop too and standing in front of the tank mesmerised while absentmindedly licked the lollipop made him look like a little kid in the aquarium.

“Oliver, I think you will need to buy a fish tank sooner or later. Elio is obsessed.” Sarah said laughing.

“I know...a fish tank, a dog, a cat and god knows what else” Oliver replied.

Elio loved animals and was good with them. This surprised Oliver because as far as he knew the Perlman’s never had any pets. He looked at Elio again who now was looking up to the canary cage offering a piece of apple to the pretty birds. _“Maybe a kitten._ ”

The girls put on music and made a large bowl of mulled wine. After a couple of hours, they were all pleasantly tipsy which made decorating the flat even more fun.

 

The next day was similarly busy for Elio and Oliver. Both of them got up early and went to the gym together. They knew that they would be gorging and lazing around in the next couple of days, so they got a good workout in.

When they got home, they immediately started to prepare the food. They were running up and down between the girl’s and their own flat and the entire building smelt of delicious food.

The dinner was a huge success. Fifteen people were crammed into the flat occupying every available sitting surface, and having lively and cheerful conversations. The food was plenty and delicious so were the drinks. Oliver was so stuffed that all he wanted to do is snooze and the other guest were in the same position. Elio with his ridiculous metabolism saved the day by making espressos for everyone. After that, everyone perked up, and the Christmas party was on. The music was good; drinks were flowing and based on preference people were dancing, chatting or playing games. Around 11 pm everyone was tiredly snuggled up under big blankets with glasses of eggnog and watched the Gremlins. Overall, it was a perfect celebration.

Oliver was helping a very sleepy Elio up on the stairs around 2 am. After washing their teeth, they fell into bed facing each other.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Oliver asked.

“Yes; the girls’ friends are so nice. And I ate so much. Do you think they liked my cake?”

“Of course, baby, it was delicious. Mafalda would be proud.” Oliver said smiling. “I have something for you.”

“You are giving me presents every day.”

“Yes, I decided to give you something small every day of Hanukkah,” Oliver said. He didn’t add that to do this with a lover, was a dream of the romantic, teenage Oliver’s, and now he had the chance to made his own dream come true. He reached into his bedside drawer and produced a small box. “Here; Happy Third day of Hanukkah, Elio.”

“Thank you, Oliver,” Elio said and opened the box. Inside was a small, but beautifully crafted silver snow globe of New York. “This is beautiful; I love it.” He said shaking the globe and watching the sparkly white dust settle.

“Yeah, it is beautiful...” Oliver said, looking at Elio.

Elio glanced at him and smiled. He understood. They were laying there in their bed, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes until they fell asleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading the chapter! I hope you enjoyed it.  
> I would be very grateful for your feedback.  
> I am worried about the style as jumping between romantic, cutesy and dark parts. I wonder if it is making the story too inconsistent.  
> I would love to hear your opinions. :)  
> xx


	11. Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mama and Papa Perlman arrive and discuss the events with Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, hope you are having a great holiday :)  
> Thank you very much for the kudos and comments! Your support means a lot :)
> 
> Next chapter is here, and it is super depressing, at least for me, but it needed to be done.  
> Continuation is up soon!  
> xx.

Elio opened his eyes after hearing Oliver’s deep breaths. He couldn’t sleep. He did not sleep last night either. His head was far too full with the visit of his tormenter and the looming conversation with his parents. If he was honest; he was not sure which stressed him out more.

Elio was a thinker in all his life. He created this special little environment inside his own head where he felt comfortable to be, just with his thoughts about books, people, music and his fears. Over time, especially after _**that**_ , he learnt how to shield part of his mind inside that little room and have an internal monologue while still following a conversation.

Now, that little room sometimes felt like a prison with monsters under the bed, even if he wanted to get out, he couldn’t, and he couldn’t let anyone in either. Not even Oliver; he would get eaten by the monsters. He often heard the phrase that our own mind can be our greatest enemy. Maybe it was a cliché, but it was painfully true.

He thought that maybe he should be scared or worried, but he only felt tired and weirdly unconcerned, numb.

He sighed quietly. If he stays in bed, he would just overthink again. He checked Oliver and held himself back to touch him; he seemed to be in a deep sleep. Elio got up, collected his clothes and quietly exited the bedroom.

He went to the kitchen and made himself instant coffee so he wouldn’t make any noise. He walked back to the living room and flicked on the lamp on the bedside table. He took a sip from his coffee and shuddered. It was atrocious, but did the job; it had a caffeine level that would knock out an elephant, so hopefully, it would sort out his terribly sleep-deprived brain.

He walked to his piano and ran his hand through the sleek forms. Elio wondered what Oliver would do with it if he would disappear from here one day...” _What a strange thought_ ”. Well, he was feeling strange and strange things happening to him, so it was normal to have strange thoughts right?

Pete was still standing on the coffee table. He was still wilted, but at least he didn’t deteriorated further. Elio felt so bad for the little _suppulent_. Pete was his first plant, and he thought if he could keep him alive, he could try and have a small animal later, maybe a hamster or a turtle and later a cat or a dog. Well, it was not going very well.

“Hang in there Pete, okay?” He said to the little plant quietly.

He finished his coffee, left a note for Oliver on the table, put on his trainer and headed out. He needed a run.

It was cold and dark outside, and the streets were empty. Still, it was somehow comforting.

That person came to his home. He was not surprised that he found his apartment. They already established that it must be someone who Elio already knew, so probably he knew his address anyway. This was crazy ...there was a good chance that he talked to this guy on a daily basis. He was also sure that there were mental problems involved. The guy was not right in the head, no one who did something like this was. He tried to remember if he knew someone neurotic or who was behaving strange, but good fucking luck with that in the world’s strictest art school. Elio himself was insane most of the time.

Elio started to run out of breath and also started to cough. That reminded him why he gave up running here at the first place. He raised his arm to check the time on his watch but realised that he did not have it on. He had no idea how long he was outside. Well, he had enough anyway. He turned around and started to run back towards the apartment.

When Elio stepped into the flat he immediately faced with an incredibly angry and worried-looking Oliver.

“Elio! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“huh? What?” Elio asked, surprised.

“Do you know what time it is?”

Now that he thought about it, he had no idea. He just felt like going for a run, so he went. His cluelessness must have been written on his face because Oliver didn’t delay to provide the information.

“It is 4 am in the morning, Elio. What got into you, going for a run at the middle of the night?!”

“Oh...I didn’t check the time... and it is okay, I did it before...”

“No, Elio, you never did that before, or if you did you are crazy! You don’t just go out for a run at night alone; this is not the Italian countryside! And look at yourself!” Oliver said desperately.

“What?” Elio looked down and examined himself. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“It is minus 10 degrees outside!”

“Oh...I didn’t notice...sorry.”

Elio felt strangely embarrassed, and quite frankly, he just wanted to curl up and sleep for a week. He was desperately clinging to the hem of his t-shirt while staring at his feet. The next second he felt strong arms around him, and he was pulled into a warm embrace. All of a sudden he started shaking and realised that he was freezing. What the hell was he doing?

“Oliver...do you think that I am going crazy? Because I think I am...” He said quietly.

“No baby, you are not. Things just keep happening, and you are stressed. That’s why I wish you would talk to me more.”

“I wish that too.” He said, and Oliver sighed.

“Go take a warm shower; I will make something that will help you sleep.”

“Okay,” Elio said and headed towards the bathroom. He felt completely defeated.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Oliver was driving to JFK to pick up Annella and the Professor. He rarely drove his car, not having needed it in New York, and he thought it would be a good opportunity to give it a run before the battery dies completely. He also wanted to think a little and wanted the time to have a chat with Elio’s parents alone. He was glad that they were coming earlier, especially after that episode the day before.

He remembered waking up at the middle of the night in an empty bed. At first, he thought that Elio went to the bathroom, but the flat was completely quiet, and after a couple of minutes, he started to feel uneasy. He got up and went to the bathroom, but it was dark and empty. The small lamp was on in the living room, but there was no trace of Elio; then he found the note he left. First, he thought it was a joke, or he missed the time, so he checked it again. No, it was close to 03. 40 am.

“Elio?” He asked loudly, but there was no reply. “ _Are you fucking kidding me?!_ ”

He was pacing around in the living room debating what to do. Should he go after him? But god knows which direction he went. Oliver didn’t even know when the boy left; they fell asleep not long after 2 am so he could be anywhere by now. He was sick with worry when finally the door opened, and there was Elio, half frozen. After he sent him to take a shower, Oliver picked up both of his own and Elio’s house keys and locked them into his desk in his study. He did the same the next night, and he would keep doing it for a while. He felt like complete shit because of it, but he would not risk Elio going out again during the night. It would have been unsafe even under normal conditions, and right now it was topped with a fucking psychopath out there and Elio’s own mental state.

This new unconcerned behaviour worried Oliver to no end. It was not safe. He wanted to help so badly, but since he was part of the whole thing, he felt that it would be too hard for Elio to confide in him, and he did not want to force him like the last time. There were people who knew exactly how to handle this and how to teach Elio to make this easier for himself. Oliver was not one of them, and he had to accept that. Just because you love someone more than anything it doesn’t mean that you could act as their psychologist when they needed professional help. He was sure that after the boy gets that help, they would be able to talk again.

He left the car in the short term car park and headed to the arrivals. He checked the board and saw that the flight from Dublin was due to land in a couple of minutes. Annella and Pro were coming from there after visiting relatives.

Oliver always wondered about the true extent of the family. If he and Elio were to have a wedding in the future; and he would never give up hope; it would be hard to find a venue to fit in all the Perlmans and Annella’s side of the family. Probably it would be one of those crazy large Italian weddings. Oliver had to smile thinking about it.

He couldn’t wait to see his two favourite people. Elio wanted to come too, at least he said that, although Oliver was not sure.  He had a shift until 5 pm, so he had to pass. It was ideal as this way the Perlmans had a couple of hours for themselves to rest and to have a chat with Oliver. Originally he thought that he would take them to the cafe to see Elio straight away, but that might not be the best idea. Or who knows? Oliver was not sure about anything anymore; he was desperate for advice.

People of the same flight started coming out, and soon he saw them. He rushed towards Annella and Pro, and they were quick to embrace him.

“Oliver!” Annella exclaimed in delight.

She held his face in her hands, looking into his eyes, while the Professor was affectionately patted his shoulder.

“You seem worried, Tesoro,” She said after looking at his face.

“I-I am,” He said, suddenly he felt like a child saying it.

“It is okay, Oliver,“ The Professor said with a smile.” We are here now, and we will help you both."

Oliver smiled at them and instantly felt lighter.

“Thank you; I am so glad you are here.”

“That is what parents are there for, sweetheart. Where is Elio?” Annella asked.

“Oh he wanted to come, but he had a shift in the Cafe. The other barista has a child, and Elio wanted her to spend as much time with him as possible over Christmas, so he took the shift today. He will finish at 5 pm.”

“Very well,” Pro nodded approvingly. “Then we can talk before that.” He said as they started walking towards the exit.

“Are you not tired? If you want to rest...” Oliver started, but Pro interrupted.

“Don’t you worry about that Oliver, we used to sleeping on flights.”

“That is right Tesoro, let us refresh ourselves and then we would like to hear about both of you.”

The drive back to the city was spent with general catching up about Oliver’s and the Professors work. Oliver dropped them off at the hotel, and they agreed to meet back at there in an hour for lunch. They were planning to go to a lovely French place nearby that the boys discovered.

Oliver drove his car back to the apartment and ran up to the flat to make a phone call. He agreed to meet up with his best friends, Ezra and Matt from college that evening. He thought it would be a good opportunity for the Perlmans to talk to their son alone.

By the time he walked back to the hotel; Pro and Annella were sitting in the pleasant lounge area. They indeed seemed refreshed. They walked towards the restaurant, chatting animatedly Pro’s arms around Annella’s waist. They had a lovely lunch, and over their coffee, Annella turned to Oliver.

“Now, Tesoro; tell us everything that worries you,” She said, and Pro looked at Oliver encouragingly.

Oliver sighed.

“I told you about the letters Elio is receiving.” He started, and Annella and Pro nodded. “I think that person is dangerous...Two days ago, he came to our apartment, to leave a note. Elio heard him moving on the other side of the door.” Oliver saw Annella shudder.

“Did you call the police?” The Professor asked, and Oliver shook his head. “I talked to my lawyer, and she said that at this point they would not do anything as we don’t have evidence. We only have one letter as Elio destroyed the previous ones. She also said that we have to consider our situation...whether we can afford to be outed, which could happen. She will contact me after the holidays with a possible course of actions.”

“She seems like a sensible and reliable person,” Pro said. 

"Indeed, she is. I trust her.”

“And how is Elio taking this all?”

“Better than most would, but I am still concerned,” Oliver said, looking down into his cup. “He was stressed out before but after that last episode sometimes he is completely normal, and other times he just seems listless and unconcerned. I don’t know what to think of it. Two nights ago, he went out for a run in the middle of the night, wearing next to nothing in this cold. When he came back he didn’t seem to realise that how stupid that was; it was like he was sleepwalking. Since then I lock away the house keys for the night.” Oliver finished. He looked up and saw Annella and the Pro glancing at each other and then looking back at him.

“He did that before,” Annella said.

“He did?” Oliver asked surprised.

“Yes. He went out at night to run or just to walk around. He came back in the morning. He had trouble sleeping.”

“Do you know why?”

“It was around the time you were engaged and got married,” Annella said with a sad smile.

Oliver felt like missing a step on the stairs. He felt his face heating up and felt like he had to apologise.

“Oliver, don’t be embarrassed; it is in the past.” The professor said kindly.

"That time," Annella started again," He also drank quite a lot and smoked too much. Is there a problem like that now?"

"No, nothing like that," Oliver replied quietly while his mind was screaming at him. He had no idea about this. There was so much he did not know.

“Is there anything else that is troubling him?” The Professor asked and bringing him back to the present. 

“Yes, two things," Oliver replied. "I think we managed to talk out one of them. He was insecure about our relationship. That is why he kept the letters secret for so long. He said he didn’t want to cause me more problems after causing my divorce and my family to cut me out. Of course I explained to him that it was all nonsense; silly boy.”

“If I am correct, the second one regards us?” Pro asked, and Oliver nodded.

“We tried to talk to him, but he closed up completely. It was painful to watch. We miss him so much” Annella said, and the Professor reached out to hold her hand.

“He misses you too,” Oliver said smiling. “He wants to solve this problem, but you will have to be firm to get everything out of him. It is not easy though when most of the time he looks like a kicked puppy.”

The Perlmans laughed.

“Very true, but do not worry Oliver; we will not leave until we get our little hellion back,” Pro said, and both of them looked at him smiling.

Oliver believed them without doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya...depressing, but thank you very much for reading it to the end. xx  
> Comments are always welcome :) xx


	12. Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big conversation with Mama and Papa Perlman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All,  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and lovely comments for the previous chapters.  
> I hope you will like the new part :)  
> As always, sorry for any mistakes.  
> xx

“ _Elio Perlman; Current mood: not good, Favourite activity: hiding under a blanket; Aspiring to be: a hermit somewhere secluded; possibly in the Alpi Liguri so he could descend from his dwellings sometimes to eat Mafalda’s cooking; Current speed of life progress: square root of two._ ”

Elio sighed. He was standing in front of the Cafe, facing in the direction of their apartment. He took a whole half a step in the last five minutes. He knew he should hurry up because his parents and Oliver were waiting for him, but it was rather tempting to just run into the other direction.

It turned extremely cold, and he was wearing his Hanukkah mittens, a matching large fluffy scarf and a beanie with the largest fucking pompom he had ever seen...further presents from the love of his life, because according to him, Elio looked adorable in them. He couldn’t really complain; they were nice and warm. Suddenly he sneezed. Of course, he caught a cold when he went for his impulse-run in the middle of the night, and now he was snotting everywhere. “ _I have the immune system of a two-year-old,_ ” he thought begrudgingly as he produced a tissue from his pocket and blew his nose gaining disapproving glares from the other pedestrians; someone even bumped into him. “ _Get over it! It might be culturally acceptable to sniff your snot back into your head here, but I am not going to adopt that, judge me!_ ” He was incredibly grumpy.

Quite frankly he just wanted to run away. At the same time, he wanted nothing more than to be embraced by his parents, to smell his mother’s perfume and to feel his father’s strong but gentle hand on his head. But he would stop there without having to have that conversation which was inevitable.

Elio was pretty sure that Oliver already filled in his parents about his lunatic behaviour. He was so worried and watched Elio’s every step. He locked away the house keys for the night. Oliver thought that he didn’t notice, but of course, he did. He kind of understood but it made him feel so small, like he was a mental institution escapee or something.

He needed to have control over his own life, and when your parents paid your tuition and living expenses and you lived in the apartment of your boyfriend there was precious little to be proud of. Now there was this fucker who got off by harassing him and making him go all schizo, which resulted in both Oliver and his parents breathing down his neck. He felt like a huge failure and just wanted to be left alone.

He sighed and took a step towards the apartment. Then another one; then stopped to “take a rest”. Elio was sure that if it was summer, he could see snails galloping by him. The next second, a hand landed on his shoulder making him jump and shriek... He fucking shrieked. It was Kei.

“Are you okay, Elio?” He asked with a questioning look on his handsome face.

“Huh? yeah, peachy” Elio said out of breath. _”Peachy?... I really do have brain damage.”_

“You have been standing out here for ten minutes. Are you sure that everything is all right?”

 _“Far from it,_ ” Elio thought. “Yeah sorry, I was daydreaming.”

“Sure didn’t seem like a good dream...you look like you are heading to the gallows.”

“Yeah...it feels like it too.”

“That bad?” Kei laughed.

“Well, I have to do something that I really don’t want to, and I am considering running away and hide in the rest of my life...not very mature I guess...”

“There is nothing childish about it, everyone feels like that sometimes. It would only be immature if you would actually run away. Which you won’t.”

“I won’t?”

“No, you won’t. I know you by now. You will grumble for a while then go and get it done” He said with a thousand-watt smile on his face, and Elio saw two girls stop in their tracks to stare at him. Kei was a real looker. “Go Elio, whatever it is, get over it. You will feel much better,” He said and gave him a friendly push towards the apartment.

“Okay...I’ll go...Thanks, Kei” He said to his friend, and indeed, he felt a bit better.

“No worries man; see you soon, and good luck!” Kei said while opened the cafe’s door wide, and looked at the two girls who were still staring at him. “Ladies?” He asked, making an inviting gesture with his hand, and the two girls walked into the cafe in a trance. Kei winked at Elio and disappeared inside.

_“Wow...Kei sure has shady business strategies...”_

With a big sigh, he headed towards the apartment, this time with closer to normal speed. He dragged himself up on the stairs and stepped in. Despite his shitty mood he smiled as he saw his three favourite people sitting together, smiling at him. His parents stood up, and Elio rushed to embrace them.

“Piccino, we missed you so much!” His mother said as she gave him over to his father so he can hug him too.

“I missed you too Maman.” He said shyly. “Did you have a nice flight?”

“We did Elly Belly; it is good to see you,” His father said. Elio winced at the nickname. He also gave an evil glare to Oliver who was grinning in the background.

“How was work? You must take us to this cafe, Elio” His mother said. “Oliver says that it is a lovely place and that you look dashing in your uniform.”

Elio felt himself blush.

“Of course Maman, you should come for breakfast tomorrow. I will have a short shift in the morning.”

“Sounds perfect,” Oliver said “I will pick you up from the hotel. Is this one of your reindeer sessions Elio?” Oliver asked with a completely serious expression, but Elio could tell that he was desperately trying not to laugh.

 _“Holy shit”_ he completely forgot about that he supposed to wear his costume tomorrow.

“Um, you know what? Maybe it is better to have breakfast in your hotel and...”He tried to save his dignity.

“Nonsense dear,” His father said “We would love to see the place where you work” He finished, Elio’s mother agreeing enthusiastically.

Elio sighed...well he tried. Of course nothing fucking works out today...

They were having a small talk. Elio wondered who will be the first to point out the elephant in the room, namely that his parents moved their entire schedule to come here and have a chat with Elio. He hoped that soon someone would do it as he had no idea how long his nerves could take it. It was around 6 pm, and he remembered that Oliver said something about a meeting with Ezra and Matt.

“Are you not going to be late for your meeting with the guys?” He asked from Oliver.

“We moved it to next week finally.” He said cautiously.

“Yes,” His mother said. “We asked Oliver to be here this evening.”

 _“Shit here we go...way to go to dig my own grave...Go Me!!!_ ” Elio thought and immediately felt his pulse accelerate.

“Elio,” His father started gently. “We came earlier because we were worried about these letters you are getting, and because we wanted to have an honest talk with you.”

Elio felt his face heating up; he was staring at his knees, and secretly hoped that the ground would open under him.

“Okay,” He said finally.

“Piccino, we know that you are hurt because of what happened before. We really tried to get you to talk to us, but we understand that it was too difficult for you. We hope that now, you will be able to tell us how you felt about that situation.”

“Back then, we had the impression that you accepted the way those things worked out, and you were fine how we interacted with Oliver.” His father said carefully.

“I-I did...but...” Elio felt so uncomfortable, he started the usual squirming that he hated so much but couldn’t help doing it.

“It is alright Piccino, tell us, please,” His mum said gently.

“Are you absolutely sure you want to hear this?” He asked, and his parents nodded.

Elio took a deep breath and prepared himself to finally say out loud what hurt him so much for so long. _“Now or never.”_

“I do not know what acceptance means to you. I was told not to deny my emotions. On the other hand, your reactions suggested that I was required to be rational; to accept that men marry women and my feelings are uncalled for and completely lose their value when stand against a traditional relationship. I couldn’t talk to anyone because you were all delighted that Oliver was getting married and talked about it like I wasn’t even there, like my feelings were of no importance. It was bad enough that he sent a wedding invitation, but that you actually went... And all three of you thought that it was okay for them to come to the villa again. You are the three people I love the most in this world, and you will be until the day I die. The fact that you three did something like that convinced me that I would never succeed in forming other relationships because nothing would be enough that I could give. It is not that you owe me respect or anything. I know that people generally don’t take me seriously in our family and I accepted that. And I do understand how you felt; I too love Oliver more than myself. But It shook me that you all deemed me so worthless that all my feelings could be disregarded and people could break my heart or walk all over me all they wanted, and they would still be welcomed in the house which is my home and safe place. I know I don’t have the right to complain, but you asked me, so I will tell you; I feel that my love and trust was betrayed and I lost the sense of security.” Elio finished. His heart was beating like crazy, and he felt his face flaming. He was out of breath.

The silence was deafening in the room. No one said a word, and he couldn’t look at his loved ones face. He had to get out of there before he had a heart attack. He stood up.

“I need some fresh air. I will take Poochie to the usual park.” He said quietly in the general direction of Oliver but didn’t look at him.

No one said anything or tried to stop him. He grabbed his coat and left the flat, shutting the door behind him. Elio quickly ran down the stairs and rang Mrs McLachlan’s doorbell. Soon he heard her steps, and the door opened.

“Oh, Elio darling...”

“Hello Mrs McLachlan, can I take Poochie for a walk, please? He asked on a monotonous voice and fake smile.

Mrs McLachlan searched his face with furrowed brows then smiled sadly.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

A minute later she brought out a very happy Poochie on a lead, and also pressed a packet of tissue in Elio’s hand.

“Go, darling and have a nice, long walk. It will help.”

Elio exited the building and started walking towards the park quickly. Poochie, sensing his mood, kept up with him forgoing his usual sniffing duties. Soon they reached the empty park, and Elio let the pup run around freely, while he headed towards the swings. He sat down in one of them and started sobbing.

 _“What have I done?”_ he thought as he was crying uncontrollably. He should have lied or refused to talk...anything but this. His words were too harsh; he said too much. He was sure that he hurt them terribly. It was all over; they will never talk to him again, he was sure of it. _“How could I have hurt them so much when I love them more than anything?”_

Elio was devastated, but near that, there was another feeling. He was relieved. He felt such an enormous relief that he was sure half of the tears were coming from there. It should have made him feel better instead it made him feel even more terrible. He was a selfish, ungrateful child; his parents gave him everything he wanted, he grew up in luxury and love, and it was not enough for him. He should have been better concealing how he felt; especially because they were right, they must have been right, he didn’t deserve Oliver. This thought brought a fresh stream of tears. His parents were right, the fault was in Elio, and now Oliver saw it all, heard it all. Now he knows how spoilt and unkind Elio was, and he will leave him. _“Please don’t leave me, please! I don’t want to be alone again.”_

Elio felt two tiny paws on his knee. He picked up Poochie who immediately started to lick his face. He hugged the tiny pup to his chest and just cried.

 

* * *

 

 

The room was silent for another minute after they heard the front door closing. Annella was carefully wiping her eyes with a tissue, and the Professor had shiny eyes too.

Oliver stood up, walked to the cabinet where he kept the alcohol and took out a bottle of Dalmore with three glasses. Before doing anything else, he opened the bottle and poured a large portion to himself and drank it in one go. He bloody needed that. He filled up the glasses to half and gave them to the Perlmans who immediately took a sip.

“Well,” Pro started, “We asked him to talk, and he talked...”

“He sure did,” Oliver said. “How do you feel?”

“I am not sure. It was quite a long time ago when I couldn’t find the words to explain something.”

“At least it is out now, and you know where you stand with him.”

“I expected something like this, but it was still shocking to hear,” Annella said quietly. “Are you alright, Tesoro?” Annella asked kindly. “It must have been hard to hear that.”

Oliver sighed

“I knew I hurt him terribly, but he always said he forgave me. He clearly did not. Not completely, and probably he did not even realise it. There are still things that he is keeping from me.”

“You will overcome this Oliver; please don’t forget that he is still very young and very sensitive,” The Professor said.

“I know,” He replied quietly. “If I have to be honest, I am not sure that there is anything to say, in my case. What is there to explain when you broke someone’s heart, and you were well aware that you were doing it. For me, there was nothing else to do but to love Elio and try to heal his heart and make him happy.

“Our Cowboy is very wise,” Annella said lovingly.

“Indeed,” The Professor said smiling. “And you were right, Elio has terribly low self-esteem. It does not justify that we did not notice sooner that he was hurting, though”

“Was he so hard to read?” Oliver asked.

“He was clearly in love with you, and it clearly hurt him that you got engaged. But he handled it with dignity and understanding. He went out with other people, and soon he never talked about it. When your invitation came, he just shrugged his shoulder and never mentioned it. He was extremely busy with school, so we talked less. We thought that he was over it. When we realised that something was wrong, during your visit, it was already too late; we could not talk to him.”

“Yes,” Annella said. “I am afraid it is very true that sometimes you don’t see what is right in front of you. Amore, I am afraid that there is nothing else but to explain this to Piccino and apologise.”

“Yes, you are right,” Samuel said and kissed his wife’s hand.”

“Wow” Oliver was astonished “I never heard that a parent would apologise to their child before.”

“Well, I imagine that many parents are too embarrassed or proud to do it, and they are afraid that they would lose face in front of their children.” The Professor explained.

“And you don’t?” Oliver asked.

“No Oliver, it is not right. We are humans, and we make mistakes, and when that happens, we should try to make it right, and apologise where it due. There is no difference when it happens with our children. Not owning up to our mistakes would make them distrust our judgement even more.”

“That is right Tesoro,” Annella said taking over from her husband. “Young people lack experience and not sense. They need guidance, love and protection so they will have the courage to find their own path. Mindless authority will only repress them.

Oliver felt emotional, and it was hard to hold back the tears when he thought of his parents.

“Elio is very lucky to have you,” He said finally.

“And we are lucky to be blessed with a child that has such a beautiful soul.” The professor said. “And Oliver, any human being should be proud to have a son like you. To not recognise this is a tragic loss and terrible judgment on their part. But it does not change the fact that you are a great man.”

“Indeed Tesoro, we are very lucky to have you in our family” Annella added.

Oliver could not hold back the tears anymore; they were silently rolled down on his face until Annella wiped them away. The motherly gesture warmed Oliver’s heart, and he couldn’t help but lean into her hand.

“Oh, poor bambino,” Annella said and hugged him. “It is okay Oliver; you are loved.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said quietly.

“Nothing to thank us for my boy, we said that this is what parents are here for,” The Professor said, but he too discretely wiped his eye.”

“Alright!” Annella said finally. “No more tears. Oliver sweetheart, please bring back our lost Piccino, he must be crying somewhere, and it is cold outside; I am worried.”

“Yes, I am not happy he went alone, but it would have been worse to stop him,” Oliver said and went towards the entrance to put on his coat and boots. “Please feel yourself at home; you can find more tea and coffee in the kitchen. We will be back soon.”

As he was closing the door he heard them saying:

“Oh, we have wonderful kids Papa.”

“That is right Maman.”

His heart swelled with love for these people. Indeed he was incredibly lucky. Now he just had to find his sad little goose. He left a half an hour ago, and he must be devastated, and Oliver was anxious to bring him back home. He thought back to Elio’s speech, It was indeed, hard to hear.

**_“I too love Oliver more than myself.”_ **

Oliver’s heart squeezed. _“Elio, don’t you know that you cannot say something like that like it was nothing?”_   When Oliver heard him saying that his world stopped for a second, and he only saw that beautiful boy sitting there head bent, embarrassed, berating himself. Oliver had to make him understand that what a wonderful person he was, to love himself and stop hurting. He rushed through the street wanting to be with his Elio and soothe his pain as soon as possible.

He reached the park and saw him instantly; he was sitting on a swing, bent over and as Oliver got nearer, he heard the soft sobs. “ _Oh no! I do nothing but making him cry lately. This has to stop.”_ He rushed to him and knelt in front of the swing. It seemed he did not even notice his presence; he was so absorbed in his heartwrenching crying. Oliver noticed that Poochie was sitting on his lap and sometimes licked up the salty streaks from his face.

“Hey buddy," He said to the dog. “I will take over from here okay?”

The dog regarded him with what seemed like an assessing stare. He must have passed the test as Poochie jumped down from Elio’s lap and went for another run-around in the park.

“Elio, baby look at me,” He started.

Elio raised his head but did not look at him.

“They hate me now. Are you going to leave me too?” He asked; he was completely miserable.

“No baby, nothing bad happened; your parents are relieved that they know how you feel now. They love you very much and would like you to come back,” Oliver explained patiently.

“But...I hurt them so much...they gave me so much, and I am ungrateful; I am such a bad person, they shouldn’t love me.”

“Elio, you are being silly. You did not hurt them; the whole thing was the result of the lack of communication between you. We all understand that. And of course, they love you. Come on baby; everything is going to be alright."

“Promise?” Elio asked on a small nasal voice, and Oliver had to smile.

“I Promise, goose,” He said, brushing the curls out of the boy’s eyes.

“And you are not disappointed in me?”

“Of course not, baby. We asked you to tell us how you feel, so we can help you. You did just that. Thank you for being honest.”

“It was hard” Elio sniffed.

“I know, but it is over now,” Oliver said. “Let’s go home to the warm, baby; your parents are waiting.”

“Okay,” Elio said finally and looked a bit calmer, but the tears still haven’t stopped. “Oliver?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I love you very much.”

“I know Elio; I love you too very much.”

Oliver helped Elio up; they collected Poochie, who probably sensed the vibe and was less demonic, and headed home. Elio was quiet, and he was clinging to Oliver like his life depended on it. When they got back to the apartment building, a surprise was waiting for them, which was definitely not pleasant for Oliver.

They wanted to return Poochie, but all they met was a note on Mrs McLachlan’s door.

 

_**Elio darling,**_

_**I was suddenly called away to my sister who suddenly became sick, and I had to leave immediately to reach the last train.** _

_**I would be incredibly grateful if you could look after Poochie in the next couple of days for me.** _

_**I left all his food and everything he might need in the pack by the door.** _

_**Love,** _

_**Mrs M. McLachlan** _

 

Oliver internally groaned, swore and smashed his head into the door repeatedly. They had to look after the rat for days? That thing will maul him in his sleep. He looked at Elio, who was still absorbed into his thoughts and did not really pay attention to anything. Poochie was looking up at Oliver, with a mocking-questioning look and bared his fangs for good measure. Oliver sighed and having no other option, pulled both Elio and Poochie up towards the stairs.

When they opened the door Elio’s parents greeted them smiling. Poor Elio was seemingly had no idea what to do, and he was just standing there miserably.

“Oh, Piccino,” Annella said finally, as she walked up to him and held his face. “Please don’t cry, everything is alright.”

“Are you not angry with me?” Elio asked on weak voice, tears still falling from his sad eyes.

“Of course not, we asked you to tell us how you felt. We knew it was hard on you.”

“That is right Elly” The professor continued. “We would never be angry with you for being honest.”

They pulled Elio towards the living room sofa and sat down on the two sides of him.

“Elio, we are sorry for not noticing your pain. You behaved so natural and went out with your friends that we thought you were over it. We are truly sorry, we should not have assumed things, and we should have had a proper conversation before making those decisions that hurt you so much.” Annella said gently.

“Elly, please talk to us about how you feel more, we are always here to listen” The Professor added. “Oliver and we love you very much, and we want you to be happy and content. We would never do anything to hurt you intentionally, so you have to tell us if you have a problem, so we can fix things, understand?”

Elio nodded and gave them a teary smile and snuggled up to them and his parents hugged him close.

Oliver went to the bathroom and poured cold water on a small towel and gave it to Annella. Elio looked terrible, with blotchy red face, fluids coming from his nose and puffy red eyes.

“Poor Piccino” Annella cooed as she cleaned up her son’s face.

Elio calmed down slowly, but it seemed that he did not wish to leave his parents embrace anytime soon, and they were more than happy with that.

 

After a while, the Professor turned to them.

“Now boys,” He started. “Please tell us that what is that creature behind the chair; chewing on Oliver’s shoe.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter :)  
> First I thought that maybe my Elio is too much of a crybaby but all this happened during a week, so it is reasonable that he is so upset. He also shows many different behaviours. In my head, he is a very complex person, but I wonder if it is distracting to others?  
> Comments are always welcome :) xx


	13. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello? Is anyone still there?!  
> Hi All, sorry for the long-long wait; I am still in the middle of thesis-writing, but I have had this part written for ages so I thought I would just post it. I think if I just let it go, it will be easier to complete the second part :).  
> Sorry for the very slow updates, it is a busy time for me, but I will never abandon this story (it is my baby!), and I really enjoy writing it :)  
> Thank you very much for your patience, you are all amazing, and I am so grateful for your support <3 :)  
> As always, sorry for any mistakes or typos.

 

 

Oliver was humming away with a smile on his face while mixing pancake ingredients for their breakfast. Elio and Poochie were on their morning walk no doubt happily skipping through the cold streets while the rest of the pedestrians most possibly running in sheer panic out of their way...The Poochie effect.

 

That early morning Oliver woke up to a low, menacing growl coming from somewhere the floor at his side of the bed. With a tremendous effort, he opened his eyes and looked down towards the source of the sound, and found Poochie sitting there, looking at him with pure hatred. What a way to wake up.

“Shut it, Poochie!” Oliver whisper-shouted. “You will wake up Elio.”

“ ‘m up alrdy,” Came a sleepy mumble from the boy who was plastered onto Oliver’s chest, where he fell asleep last night. And drooled in great abundance.

Oliver looked at Elio, who turned his face towards him. His eyes were covered by his crazy morning curls, and only the cute freckled nose and pouty mouth were visible. He was so bloody adorable.

 

Oliver’s heart swelled as he thought about how happy Elio was last night. The change in his mood was almost immediate after the huge weight fell from his shoulders and was done with all the crying. The Perlman parents stayed until late hours. Oliver made a nice dinner, and they had a lovely time together, Elio was cuddling with them all the while. Watching him being so happy and carefree, Oliver found it unfathomable that he didn’t realise sooner that the boy had problems. Just when did he get used to an unhappy Elio? Samuel and Annella were also seemed relieved; they looked incredibly happy, chatting openly with their son and laughing at his cheekiness. When it was time for them to retire for the night, the boys and Poochie walked them back to the hotel.

Once they got back home, Elio jumped into his arms and did his adorable “Oliver-climbing” technique until his lover lifted him up and spun him around laughing.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!” Elio said while he covered his face with kisses.

“Hey-hey, slow down, baby!” Oliver said, laughing. “Why are you thanking me?” He asked as Elio proceeded to almost choke him with his arms folded strongly around his neck.

“You get them here, and you get us to talk, and it was so hard but they still love me, and I am so very happy and thank you thank you thank you!!!” Elio said in one breath.

They went to bed soon but Elio was still chatting away about where they should take his parents for dinner, and they definitely should go to the MET, and there is that antique shop which Maman would definitely love. His poor baby forgot that his parents were not wide-eyed tourists in the city; they lived here for years before Elio was born and they even owned a brownstone which was now rented out. But Oliver did not have the heart to remind him. He must have been very tired but he was so excited that he couldn’t stop talking, nervous energy vibrating through his body. He was still so unbalanced and seemed so emotional and vulnerable. It was well after midnight when finally Oliver gathered Elio into his arms and drew circles on his back until his chatter quieted down and he finally fell asleep. They could not have slept for more than five hours.

 

 

“Morning baby,” Oliver said as looked at the boy smiling.

He reached down and brushed the dark curls aside from the lovely face and sighed. The two large green eyes were looking at Oliver slightly unfocused; the skin around them was slightly red; the result of yesterday’s crying marathon. Poor boy still looked exhausted. Oliver felt tired too; they had a draining couple of days after all.

Elio had a somewhat dopey expression on his face, looking up at Oliver adoringly.

“Good morning; also you are so handsome, and I am hungry too,” He said.

“Haha, you are not awake baby,” Oliver laughed and squeezed the boy to his chest, unable to resist his cuteness.

He flipped him over and proceeded to kiss the soul out of him while Elio made little satisfied noises. Things were just getting steamy when Oliver heard the familiar growl but this time right at his ear. He turned his head slowly to find Poochie right at his face, glaring at him with unparalleled fury, bearing his canines.

“You asshole,” Oliver said to the dog, while Elio giggled hysterically.

“We need to take him out before he pees the bed,” Elio said, smiling as he patted the dog’s furry head.

“There goes my romantic morning!” Oliver exclaimed in mock despair.

“I will make it up to you later,” Elio said, caressing his face.

“Promise?” Oliver asked, pouting.

“Promise.”

They kissed again, which earned them a long howl.

“FINE!!!” Oliver said frustrated and rolled off Elio. “I will take out the Baskerville hound; you can go back to sleep a little; it is still early.

Elio snorted.

“I think it is better for everyone if I do it. I don’t want you guys killing each other, right Poochie?” Elio asked, looking at the pup who in return, gave him a happy little “yip”.

“Alright, then, I will make breakfast,” Oliver said.

“Sounds good.”

Elio rolled out of bed, and ten minutes later, Oliver watched as he stuffed Poochie into his little doggie jumper. It was unicorn-purple with Barbie-pink stripes and little winged piglets on it. It looked hideous.

The dog was a bloody menace, and Oliver was a hundred per cent sure now that the rat especially hated his very existence. He already destroyed one pair of his shoes. He also jumped on his lap last night, and for a moment, Oliver thought that he was warming up to him until the little shit peed all over him with a particularly smug expression on his face. Elio laughed so hysterically that he fell off the sofa and rolled around on the floor. This was the only reason why Oliver didn’t throw out the rat; Elio needed to laugh more.

 

Oliver shook his head, remembering last night and earlier that morning. He had no idea how he will handle that little monster for days. He slid the last piece of pancake on the pile and started to fill up the coffee machine when the phone rang. It was weird; it wasn’t even 7 in the morning. Maybe it was Elisa, she usually completely ignored the routine of normal people. He walked to the phone and picked up the receiver.

“Hello?”

There was no answer, but there was someone on the line as Oliver heard breathing.

“Who is this?”Oliver asked with an uncomfortable feeling starting to spread in his stomach. There was still no answer; then he heard an extremely creepy sound when someone is wheezing through clenched teeth. Oliver shuddered; the hair was standing up on his arm.

“Who is this?” Oliver asked again, alarm bells ringing in his head. He tried to keep his voice steady, but the whole experience was surreal. Then he heard the voice. It was distorted and almost unrecognisable as a human; something that you would expect hearing in a horror movie and what he said made Oliver’s blood run cold.

 

“ _I will rip him apart._ ”

And the line went dead.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
> I already drafted the second part so hopefully, the next update is coming soon :)  
> Let me know what you think xxx


	14. Dazed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has his own ways to handle stress...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All,  
> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos; I am so glad you still like my little story :)  
> Here is the new chapter, hope you will enjoy it :) xx

 

 

 

Oliver was standing like a statue, with the receiver still at his ear, staring at the wall. The apartment was completely quiet, almost eerie, the only sound being the faint dial tone from the phone. His brain was still processing what he just heard. A couple of seconds later, his body started to shake from the disgust, rage and fear he felt.

“ _Okay, deep breath...you knew this was coming,_ ” He told himself as he tried to regain his composure.

Indeed he knew that he should expect something like this. After the episode of the stalker coming to their apartment building, Oliver contacted Elisa, who immediately set things into motion. After just half an hour she called him back with some news. Apparently, she consulted with a person (not to be named) who had experience in “ _this kind of shit_ ”. The person suggested that their case seems to follow the usual patterns of stalking and harassment.

Elio was right to assume that if apart from threatening letters the stalker didn’t try to approach him, it was likely that nothing more serious would come out of it; the crazy asshole would grow tired of his sick little game sooner or later. However, the stalker coming into contact with Elio during his “visit” might have changed things. Now, this sick bastard got a taste of directly inflicting fear onto his victim, and this is exactly what excited and motivated this kind of criminals. The experience would make him bolder, taking more risk. Elisa said that Elio was to expect new forms of harassment; phone calls included. Oliver did not tell this to Elio, normally he would, but the boy was already rattled, and he did not want to give him another thing to worry about.

He took a deep breath to steady himself and dialled Elisa’s office. It was still awfully early, but he had a feeling that Elisa would be there. He was right, as the usual hyperactive assistant connected him to his lawyer.

“Oliver, What happened?" Elisa asked in the usual no-nonsense manner.

“A phone call...”

“When?”

“A couple of minutes ago.”

“Okay, are you boys alright?”

“Yeah, Elio is not here, thank God. It was disgusting...I don’t want Elio to hear anything like this; it is ju...”

“Alright, Oliver, calm down sweetie, we expected this to happen.”

“I know...it was still shocking..”

“I know, it is disturbing and frightening, but we will deal with it, okay?”

“Yes,” Oliver felt a bit better; Elisa’s attitude was always reassuring.

“Alright, darling give me twenty minutes; I will check on a couple of things and call you back,” Elisa said hurriedly then hung-up.

Oliver sighed and put down the receiver. Twenty minutes felt like years away, especially as Elio was not there. Oliver needed all his calm not to rush outside and bring him back inside, lock the doors and never leave the flat again. But Elio was right; this was exactly what that sick monster wanted. He went back to the kitchen and just finished the breakfast preparations when the phone rang again.

“So, Oliver, a new landline number is arranged for you, someone will come around at a suitable time today and sort it out, let’s say nine-thirty?”

“Yes, that is perfect,” Oliver said relieved. Elio would be at work. He didn’t want to trouble the boy just yet.

“Don’t give out your new number to anyone, definitely not to your work or Elio’s school. Your old number will connect whoever is calling with my office. One of my assistants will call you if you need to contact someone, even at night. We will take it from there. How does this sound?”

“It sounds great, thank you so much, Elisa”

“Nothing to thank me for, Oliver; and if you are wondering there was no any suspicious person around your apartment at any time in the last couple of days and neither Elio nor you were followed by anyone. Oh speaking of which, your little cutie is prancing around in the snow with his mutant guinea pig and expected to arrive home in approximately eight minutes.”

Oliver was floored.

“Elisa..what..how?”

“ I told you that I would look after Eleanor’s boy without fail. Don’t worry yourself; continue to enjoy your holiday,” and with that, she was gone.

Sometimes Oliver wondered who Elisa Baron really was, and how an Earth his Aunty Eleanor became friends with her. It must be quite the story.

Oliver turned around and headed back to the kitchen when the front door burst open, and Elio shuffled in noisily with a happily yapping Poochie in tow.

“Oh, man, it is absolutely freezing outside! Let’s go to museums today; no way I will be walking around in this weather,” The boy said as shrugged off his coat, “Oh I smell pancakes! I will take a shower and come to eat breakfast with you!” Elio said and bounced towards the bathroom. Thankfully he didn’t notice that something was off.

Oliver was looking after him as he disappeared towards the other room. His Elio...he was so beautiful, so full of life and Oliver felt the ever-present desire flaring up in him. He needed him, needed to have him, to protect, to hide, to love him. For a long time, Oliver was completely at a loss how to fully describe his feelings for him. He might have a doctorate in philosophy and scored a professorship at an incredibly young age, but when it came to communicating his feelings, he certainly lacked eloquence, especially compared to Elio. But it was okay. He made up for it in another way.

He heard the shower going as he walked towards the bathroom. He stepped in and closed the door behind him; he didn’t want to be interrupted like that morning.

Steam was coming out of the shower cabin, and he could bearly see the precious body inside. Oliver needed to hold it close, to reconnect, to check that indeed his Elio was there with him, unharmed and healthy. He opened the shower door and stepped inside. Elio looked up, surprised.

“Hey, what are you doing...your clothes...”

He couldn’t finish the sentence as Oliver crushed his lips with his own, his tongue chasing the others hungrily. Oliver couldn’t get enough of the taste of those lips and the feeling of the miles and miles of soft skin under his fingers. He caressed the slender back all the way down until he reached the delicious little ass. He grabbed the soft flesh and pulled Elio to his body. His wet t-shirt stuck to his chest much to Elio’s apparent annoyance as the boy practically clawed it off of him.

Oliver’s finger slipped between the firm cheeks, and Elio mewled into his lips as he teased and prepared him. Oliver pushed him to the wall, lifted his leg while his eyes never left the boy’s face. Elio’s eyes were closed, the long dark lashes gently fluttered. His cheeks were flushed but didn’t completely cover up the white of the skin, creating a dramatic contrast with his dark wet hair. And those plush lips; blood red, plump and perfect. He watched as Elio threw his head back and opened those lips for a long moan as Oliver slowly pushed his erection balls deep into his body. It felt amazing. He wanted to fuck him hard and fast, but now this was all about his boy’s pleasure.

“Did that feel good baby?” Oliver asked him, licking his neck.

“mm yeah...” Elio panted.

“Want me to do it again, hm,? Oliver asked, nibbling on Elio’s ear. 

“Yeah, I want it! Oliver move, please, please!”

Oliver did it again; he pulled out almost completely then slammed back into Elio, making the boy cry out in pleasure; he could feel his nails digging into his back. He did the same motion, again and again, pulling out slowly making Elio whimper and slamming back hard.

“More! Oliver, I want more!”

“I will give it to you; I will give you everything” Oliver panted and proceeded to fuck him senseless. 

 

 

Twenty minutes later they were sitting at the breakfast table, both naked, Elio is on Oliver’s lap. All the pancakes were devoured as they were famished after their morning workout session, and now they were licking apricot jam from each other’s lips.

“If we don't stop this, I will be late from work,” Elio said between two kitten-licks.

“Be late,” Oliver replied, nibbling on the boy’s chin, and he couldn’t care less about anything or anyone else right now.

“I will lose my job.”

“You don’t need it,” Oliver said and licked one of the tiny nipples, making Elio whimper.

“But I like the Cafe”

“I will buy it for you,” Oliver said.

His brain was kind of foggy as he licked Elio’s collarbone.

He heard his name being called, but he was mesmerised by a tiny mole on Elio’s shoulder and decided that he definitely needed to lick it when slender hands lifted his chin, and he looked into those green eyes.

“Oh, hi baby,” Oliver said, finally coming back to his senses what felt like in hours.

“Hi,” The boy said, smiling. “Is everything OK?” He asked gently.

“Yes, all is great,” He said.

Elio continued searching his face but smiled finally.

“Okay, just promise you will tell me later.”

“I promise; later,” Oliver said, and they kissed again.

“I really need to go now, I promised I would be there by nine,” Elio said, raising from Oliver’s lap.

“Fine, we will continue later.”

“Oh, will we now?” Elio asked with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, I have plans,” Oliver said confidently.

“What sort of plans?” Elio asked, somewhat suspicious.

“I want to bend you over the table and pound into your ass while you are wearing your cute little reindeer tail.”

 

Ten minutes later, Elio stormed out of the apartment; nose in the air and face ablaze. Oliver sighed; his baby was so bashful sometimes.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts :) xx

**Author's Note:**

> RIP Pete.  
> So what do you think? I would love to hear your opinions. :)


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